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| Posted by Vortex on 10-Aug-2005 | 10 REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY!(No offense intended or implied)
1) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3) You know stuff about tanks.
4) A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5) Monday Night Football.
6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8) You can open all your own jars.
9) Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
10) Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
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| Posted by Paul S. Morette on 10-Aug-2005 | HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:Compliment her,
Cuddle her,
Kiss her,
Caress her,
Love her,
Stroke her,
Tease her,
Comfort her,
Protect her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Spend money on her,
Wine & dine her,
Buy things for her,
Listen to her,
Care for her,
Stand by her,
Support her,
Go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
Bring Beer.
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| Posted by christopher winnen on 10-Aug-2005 | Princess storyOnce upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened
upon a frog in a pond. the frog said to the princess, "i was once a handsome
prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. one kiss from you and i will turn
back into a prince and we can marry, move into the castle with my mother, and
you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
happy doing so."
that night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she laughed to herself and
thought, "i don't f****** think so!"
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| Posted by Shelly Mclaughlin on 10-Aug-2005 | 10 REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY!1) You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
2) Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.
3) You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.
4) With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in
15 tries, at least in theory.
5) You don't mooch off others' desserts.
6) If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
7) The remote control is yours and yours alone.
8) People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
9) ESPN's Sports Center.
10) You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
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| Posted by ethan schultz on 10-Aug-2005 | 10 REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY!1) Bachelor parties whom butt over bridle showers.
2) You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
3) You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
4) You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
5) If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your
other friends you've changed.
6) Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
7) You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it???.
8) If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
become lifelong buddies.
9) Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
10) The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
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| Posted by Dick Richardson on 10-Aug-2005 | Will he be faithful?Q: How can you tell if your husband might be unfaithful?
A: Check and see if he has a penis.
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