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| Posted by mmmmmm kkkkkkkkk on 09-Aug-2005 | 12" dickif a 12" dick was coming out of your forehead would you see it? no the balls would be covering your eyelids.
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| Posted by danny on 09-Aug-2005 | Mike Tyson or Evander HolyfieldOne day a woman who was about 65 years old wanted to get a tatoo. She went to the nearest tatoo parlor and told the man the she wanted one tatoo of Mike Tyson on one thigh and one of Evander Holyfield on the other. The man said to the woman that he wasn't sure if he could do that, but he would try. So the woman said ok and went to the back with the man. It was a long process. When it was finally finished the woman lifted up her skirt and asked the man, "Does this look like Mike Tyson and does this look like Evander Holyfield?"
"Not really," said the man, "But it looks ok."
The woman was very pleased and walked out of the tatoo parlor. When she walked out she asked a younger man if the tatoos on her thighs loked like Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield. The man replied with a yeah sort of. Next the woman saw and older man. She went up to him and lifted up her skirt and asked him, "Does this look like Mike Tyson and does this look like Evander Holyfield?"
The man said, "No, but the one in the middle looks like Don King."
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| Posted by Kit Cloudkicker on 09-Aug-2005 | Barnyard confusion"Why don't chicken wear underpants?"
Because their pecker's on their face!
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| Posted by D M. C on 09-Aug-2005 | A Man and 3 PriestsA man walks into a department store and needs to get to the bathroom, located in the back of the store. He decides to get there by going down the first aisle he sees. He starts to turn the corner when he sees a priest just standing there, staring. He thinks this strange, but decides not to disturb the priest. The man decides to go down the next aisle, but again, finds another priest standing there staring. He thinks nothing of it and proceeds to the next aisle. When he gets to the third aisle, there is again another priest. The man, now curious as to what is going on, decides to venture down the aisle. When he gets half way down, he reads a sign.
"Boys Pants, Half Off"
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| Posted by Joe B. Bob on 09-Aug-2005 | Babies little girl!A little boy named little Johny runs upto his mom from outside and says "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"Oh course not" replies the mom and starts chopping some onions.
"Great!" Then little Johny runs outside and yells "ITS OK! WE CAN PLAY THE GAME AGAIN!"
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| Posted by dropsofjupiter on 09-Aug-2005 | What if?...what if you were fixing a bowl of cereal and when you took the first bite, it was PORKIN' beans and cereal?
What if your knees were coconuts?
What if you opened up your backpack and there was an evil, bloody baby inside?
What if you were eating a candy bar and it had PORKIN' beans instead of peanuts?
What if somebody stabbed you in your asshole with a used cake knife?
What if a gross, hairy eyeball was crawling up your leg?
What if you took a shower with a stinking, dead heart of an armadillo instead of soap?
What if you were stuck in a small, pitch-black closet with a thousand nasty sewer rats, and they were crawling over your body, especially your knees, neck, and mouth?
What if you were brushing your hair with a used tampon?
What if you bit into an apple and it was filled with cottage cheese - small curd?
What if you were ugly?
What if you were having sex with a diseased billy goat?
What if you took a bath in sweat from a woman named Bertha?
What if you had fresh produce and this sweaty cashier with nastiness on his hands touched it?
What if your skin was peanut brittle?
What if your skin was stucco?
What if your toes were penises?
What if your gel deodorant was mayonnaise?
What if your nuts were bleeding bile?
What if your eyes were nipples?
What if (you were a woman) you took off your maxi pad and it had boo boo in the front of it?
What if someone put pepper in your cereal?
What if GOD was one of us?
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