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| Posted by Mya F. Whooch on 14-Aug-2005 | 12 Reasons Why It's Bad to Be a Vagina12. You are labeled things like garage, temple, cunt, hole of
pleasure...etc.
11. You are covered in fur.
10. No matter where you are, vibrations make you get off.
9. You bleed for a week once a month.
8. You have to wear a nappy for the week.
7. You look like a heaps of slices of ham thrown together.
6. You smell of decaying fish.
5. You get ripped during childbirth.
4. You get fingers, toothbrushes, carrots, tongues etc. going up
you.
3. When you get excited you become all slimy with goo.
2. It is the only reason women get guys.
And the Number 1 reason why it is Bad to be a Vagina:
1. Try living with periods, pain, and fish smell all of your
life.
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| Posted by Peter Gundermann on 14-Aug-2005 | Types of PainThree women, while traveling in a train, are discussing
different types of pain. The first woman says, "There is no pain
like when you suffer a fracture". The second woman says, "That's
nothing. Post-surgical pain is the worst". The third woman says,
"I disagree. Pain during childbirth is the severest". An old man
who is resting up on the top bunk overhears this conversation
and interrupts them. "I don't think you three have ever
experienced a swift kick to the balls".
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| Posted by Reflex449 on 14-Aug-2005 | halariousQ: What kind of bees make milk?
A: BOO-BEES
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| Posted by Kevin J. Hall on 14-Aug-2005 | GODTwo guys are sitting in a mental asylum. One says to the other,
"I am Napoleon Bonaparte!" The other guy says, "Yeah, and God
told me I'm normal." Then you hear a scream from a corner, "No I
did not!!!"
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| Posted by The Flash on 14-Aug-2005 | Spider TimOne day Tim was riding his car down the empty New York street.
Seeing the street being empty, Tim sped up. Little did he know
that there was a car about to cross the street. Tim crashed and
was killed...
Tim then awoke from his sleep only to find him self in the sky
with clouds all around. Tim was scared and confused, he then
called out, "Hello?!" Tim waited a moment, then a deep GREAT
voice said, "WHO ARE YOU?" Tim said, "I'm Tim...who are YOU?"
The voice said, "I AM GOD!"
"God?...that means I'm..."
"YES TIM...YOU ARE DEAD, BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD YET
TIM...NOT FOR FIVE MORE YEARS."
"Really?...so can I go back then?"
"OF COURSE YOU CAN TIM."
"But God, look at me I'm all bloody...Hey! Where's my arm?!"
"TIM, CALM DOWN, I SHALL TURN YOU INTO A SPIDER."
"A spider?!"
"A SPIDER AND ONLY A SPIDER!!!!!"
"Ok. Ok. I agree, god."
Poof! God turned him into a spider
"Now what god?"
God said, "Squeeze your ass. Do this...MMMMMMM!!"
"Push?"
"YES WHEN YOU DO THIS..MMMMMM! YOUR SPIDER WEB SHALL COME OUT."
"Ok God.........MMMMMMMMMMMM!" *POP!* and Tim was now spitting
out spider wed from his ass
"NOW TIM GO DOWN TO EARTH USING YOUR SPIDER WEB."
And so Tim pushed and pushed and he was going down to earth nice
and calmly while doing this MMMMMMMMMMMM!
Then suddenly Tim heard his wife's voice, "WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
YOU'RE TAKING A SHIT ON THE BED TIM!!"
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| Posted by ash c. c on 12-Aug-2005 | The elephant\'s trunk transplantJack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my
penis erect, can you help me?"
After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the
problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis
are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you except if
you're willing to try an experimental treatment."
Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor
explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a
baby elephant and implant them in your penis."
Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going
through life without ever having sex again is too much, lets go for
it."
A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to
use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his
girl friend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the
city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs
that continued to the point of being uncomfortable.
To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His penis immediately
sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a
dinner roll and then returned to his pants.
His girl friend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile,
"That was incredible! Can you do that again?"
Jack replied, "Well, I guess so, but I'm not sure I can fit another
dinner roll up my ass!"
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