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():gender jokes (1878): 15 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex


Posted by Scotman23 on 14-Aug-2005

15 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex

1. BEING PASSIVE.
Don't let him undress you and himself. Just help him a little
bit: like making the first step. Just because we are men it
doesn't mean that we must do all the job.

2. WEARING JEANS OR TIGHT PANTS.
It takes time to take off these kind of clothes. Every second
counts. Remember one thing: the more time you got, the more
rounds you got, and the more rounds you got the more satisfied
you get.

3. GOING DOWN HALFWAY.
Once you start going down, don't stop at the belly button, keep
going or just don't go past the neck at all.

4. CHOCKING HIS CHICKEN.
Men feel pain, we are not as tough as you think. No man has a
leather dick. You got to be smooth with the dick. Pulling it too
hard doesn't make us feel horny, it hurts even though we don't
tell you.

5. LICKING HIS EAR TOO MUCH.
It's just the same as a dog licking a bitches ass.

6. MOANING LIKE A RUNNER THAT NEEDS AIR.
Better moan with style girls cause men love to make fun of girls
who can't moan like movie stars. Try not too make much noise
when you exhale.

7. SCRATCHING HIS BACK.
We don't need no autographs, girls. It does not feel good at
all. Depend on the length of nail and how deep you dig them in
our backs so keep your nails in you pockets please. If you feel
the need to scratch a boys back, either grip the hell out of the
sheets or the headboard.

8. LETTING YOUR HAIR FALL IN HIS FACE.
Men need air, they breath.

9. JUMPING ON HIPS TO HARD.
A man is not a horse so please take it easy unless you got a big
booty to take care of the landing.

10. SCREAMING TOO LOUD WHEN YOU CUM.
Are you crazy? Do you want us to get caught by your parents? Or
do you just love seeing me jump through the window butt naked...

11. KEEP YORSELF CLEAN!
Everyone knows that fish is the smell. But we don't have to be
smelling it when you take your panties off. Please warn us if
you haven't freshened up. And nobody wants to suck on salty
dirty titties. Men aren't the only ones who sweat. And we sure
don't want you smelling like you work at a fish market either.
Make sure your ass is clean!!! No man wants to eat off a dirty
plate.

12. MAKE SURE YOUR FEET ARE IN CHECK.
Every man has a certain turn on, everything on a woman must be
perfect, that's how we like it. Do not, I repeat do not get in
bed with us with your feet looking like you were walking bare
foot on toxic waste. You know what I am talking about, nail
polish coming off halfway, smelly as hell, uneven toenails,
soles feeling like sandpaper. Its hard to perform good foreplay
with that. And don't even think about asking us to suck your
toes when they look like they have been beaten with a sledge
hammer (ugly) and we are not to fond of unpolished toes either.
We like them soft, pretty, and tasty looking.

13. GIVING HEAD.
Don't use your teeth! It hurts, really!

14. AFTER SEX BROADCASTING.
Don't go bragging to your friends saying that you have us so
called "whipped" its not cool at all, especially when his
friends are around. If a man is "whipped" he won't admit it.

15. KEEP IT REAL.
When you're at the point of breaking up, don't wait until then
to tell us we didn't knock it right. You know damn well we had
you climbing the walls and walking on air.

   

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():gender jokes (1878): Top 10 Things Men Know About Women


Posted by cutegirl4u on 14-Aug-2005

Top 10 Things Men Know About Women

The top 10 things men know about women:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

   

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():gender jokes (1878): The Rooster and the Cat


Posted by Lisa M. Allen on 14-Aug-2005

The Rooster and the Cat

Answer these questions to the best of your ability:

1. How many eyes does a rooster have?
2. How many legs does a rooster have?
3. How many beaks does a rooster have?
4. And finally how many wiskers does a cat have?

OK now that you've answered all these questions to the best of
your ability ask yourself this...Why is it you know so much
about cock and nothing about pussy?

   

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():gender jokes (1878): Men vs. Woman


Posted by Abby J. Parker on 14-Aug-2005

Men vs. Woman

** 8 things you'll never hear a man say:

8. Here honey, you use the remote.

7. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

6. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!

5. While I'm up, can I get you anything?

4. Sex isn't that important, sometimes I just want to be held.

3. Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch Melrose Place.

2. Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.

1. We never talk anymore.

** 8 things you'll never hear a woman say:

8. What do you mean today's our anniversary?

7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.

6. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big!

5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being
'just friends'

4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?

3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out
how to get there.

2. I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way to much for a designer dress.

1. Hey, pull my finger!

   

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():gender jokes (1878): Life of an egg compared to a man


Posted by Matthew Moulton on 14-Aug-2005
Life of an egg compared to a man
If you think a guy's life is bad compare it to an egg.

You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
It takes 2 minutes to get soft.
You have to share a box with eleven other guys.
And the only chick to sit on your face is your mother.

   

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():gender jokes (1878): Married women vs. single women


Posted by korn_kid on 14-Aug-2005
Married women vs. single women
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?

A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married
women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

   

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