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| Posted by David S. Cornwell on 09-Aug-2005 | 2 kids...I've got something you don't have!" A little boy and girl were outside playing and they were very competitive. The little boy said "My wagon's bigger than your wagon!"
The little girl said "No it's not!" The boy said "Is too! Let's measure!" They measured and the girl said "Oh gosh, it is."
They played some more and the boy said "My daddy can beat up your daddy!"
The girl said "He can not!"
The boy said "Can too! Watch!" The two fathers fight and the little boy's father wins.
The girl says "Oh gosh, he can."
They play some more and the little boy smiles and says "I've got something you don't have!"
The little girl says "Do not!"
The boy says "Do too! Look!" He pulls his pants down and shows her.
The little girl starts crying and runs into her house because she keeps losing. A little while later she comes out with a big smile on her face.
The little boy says "What are you so happy about?"
The girl pulls up her dress and says "My mommy said as long as I have one of these, I can get as many of those as I want!"
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| Posted by Jose A. Suazo on 09-Aug-2005 | Supernatural sexAt a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, "Who here has ever seen a ghost?"
Most of the hands go up.
"And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?"
About half the hands stay up.
"OK, now how many of you have had physical contact with a ghost?"
Three hands stay up; there's a slight murmur in the crowd.
"Gosh, that's pretty good. OK, have any of you ever, uh, been intimate with a ghost?"
One hand stays up.
The speaker blinks. "Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you've actually had sexual contact with a ghost?"
The guy with his hand up suddenly blushes and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said "goat'."
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| Posted by Daniel L. Jewell on 09-Aug-2005 | Who wears the pants?A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said," here put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
"I can't wear your pants, she said."
"That's Right!!" , said the husband, "and don't you forget it."
"I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "try these on."
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecap.
He said, "hell, I can't get into your panties!"
She said, "that's right, and that's the way it's going to be until your attitude changes!"
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| Posted by Kailee J. Spencer on 09-Aug-2005 | Birthday presentA father approached his 14 year old son and asks him what he wants most for his birthday.
The son replies, "I want to get laid Dad."
The father says, "You are still a bit young for that." He takes him out to the backyard and shows him a tree with a knot hole in it. "Practice on this and we'll see next year," says the father.
The next year the father asks the same question and gets the same reply. The father tells the son to practice on the knot hole for another year.
On his 16th birthday the son says, "Enough with the knot hole already, I am ready for a woman!"
The father agrees and takes the son into town to the local cathouse. He tells the madam, "One for me and one for my son."
The madam replies "You go up the stairs and turn left, your son goes up the stairs and turns right."
At the top of the stairs the father pauses to wish the son good luck and then goes into the room with the whore.
All of a sudden he hears terrible screaming coming from the room where his son went. He runs over and bursts into the room. There he sees his son shoving a broomstick in and out of the whore while she is screaming at the top of her lungs.
"What the fuck are you doing son?" yells the father.
"Checking for squirrels Dad" replies the son.
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| Posted by Ratty2608 on 09-Aug-2005 | Six girls for freeA guy walks into a brothel and tells the madam he wants six girls for the evening.
The next morning the madam informs the gentleman that there will be no charge. Very happy, he leaves.
A few days later he returns, and again tell the madam that he would like six girls for the evening. In the morning the madam presents him with a bill for $1,000. Confused the man asks, "I don' t understand, on Tuesday it was free."
"That's right," replies the madam, "but on Tuesdays we're on cable."
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| Posted by Clarence Chicken on 09-Aug-2005 | AssaultA girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, "When did this happen?"
She replied, "Last week."
The police then asked, "Why did you wait until now to report it?"
Well," she said. "I didn't know that I was assaulted until the check bounced."
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