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| Posted by Matt Lackey on 14-Aug-2005 | 2 Sluts and A FagLil' Johnny goes to school ona day and his teacher says,"You
only have one item for homework today and that is to find the
definition of realisticaly and potentially." So Lil' Johnny goes
home and asks his dad what realistacaly and potetially meens and
he asy "I'll give you three things to do and you come back to me
with an answer." and Lil' Johnny says "ok," "first go to your
mother and ask her if she'll sleep with Robert Redford for a
million dollars. Then go to your sister and ask her if she'll
slee p with Brad Pitts for a million dollars. After that go to
your brother and ask him if He'll sleep with Tom Cruise for a
million dollars. After all that come back to me and tell me what
you came up with." So Lil' Johnny goes to his mom and says "Mom
will you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" "Well
I love your father a whole lot and we've been married for 15
years and well, for a million dollars I guess I will." So he
goes to his sister and says "Sis' will you sleep with Brad Pitts
for a million dollars?" "I'd sleep with him for nothin but for a
million dollars hell yes." So now, he goes to his brother and
asked himm if he'd slep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars
and he says "Well isn't he gay or something?" Lil' Johnny Shrugs
his shoulders. "Well for a million dollars I guess I would." So
now Lil' Johnny goes back to his dad and says "Dad I think I now
what realisticaly and potentially meens!" "Ok son spill it!"
"Potentaily we can be millionares, realistically I'm livin' with
2 Sluts and A Fag!!!"
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| Posted by Michael Gailling on 14-Aug-2005 | Gays in a Hot TubThere were four gay men sitting in a hot tub and then a blob of
semen rose to the surface. So one of them said to the rest,
"Alright, who farted?!"
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| Posted by Nikki on 14-Aug-2005 | Bar Room Football Two men walk into a bar. one is straight and one is gay. The
bartender asks them, "Do you wanna play barroom football?"
"Sure. How do you play?" the straight one asks.
"alright. first you gotta get drunk. really reeeeeally drunk."
so they get so drunk theyre almost falling over, and they go
down into a little room.
"ALright," says the bartender, " the rules are simple. a
burp is a touchdown, and a fart is a fieldgoal."
The straight guy burps.
"Touchdown!!!" declares the bartender.
"and i feel a field goal coming on!' says the straight guy.
All of a sudden, the gay guy starts srewing the straight
guy in the ass and yells out, "FIELD GOAL BLOCKED!!!!!!"
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():gay jokes (100): You Know You're in San Francisco When... |
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| Posted by Gelfling on 14-Aug-2005 | You Know You're in San Francisco When...You know you're in San Francisco when.....
Your co-worker tells you they have 8 body piercings but none are
visible.
When someone says TENDERLOIN- you don't think of steak. You
think of danger.
You make over $100,000 and still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a
conversation in English.
You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you
know the drivers have never seen it.
You can't remember....is pot illegal?
You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers
and a sperm donor.
You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown
and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You know that anyone wearing shorts in April is just visiting
from Ohio.
You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits. Your
child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and
is named "Breeze." And, after telling that to a friend, they
still need to ask if the teacher is male or female.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide
between yoga, aromatherapy, conversational mandarin or a
building your web site class.
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you
moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit
Tower if your life depended on it.
A man walks on MUNI in full leather regalia and crotchless
chaps. You don't notice.
A woman walks on MUNI with live poultry. You don't notice.
You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting
from the midwest.
You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a
tourist.
You keep a list of companies to boycott.
Your hairdresser is gay, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is straight and your Mary Kay Lady is a guy
in drag.
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| Posted by Leah Pavo on 14-Aug-2005 | The Golf GameOne day two gay guys decide to go play golf. One guy hits the
ball and it hits this really big guy right between the legs. The
guys go over and start telling him how sorry they are and that
they would do anything to make up for it and they just go on and
on until the guy yells at them and says, "Suck my dick!!" The gay
guy looks at his buddy and says, "Oh wait Jimmy, he wants to make
a deal!!"
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| Posted by Basil F. Cadbury on 14-Aug-2005 | Lesbian JokesWhat do you call 2 lesbians trapped in a cabinet....
A licker cabinet
What is the difference between a wheat thin and a lesbian....
one is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker
How do you hold your liquer....
by the ears
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