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| Posted by A very nice person who doesn't swear on 09-Aug-2005 | 24 hoursA man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.
Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex.
Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before die."
She says, "Of course, dear," and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..."
At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by nick collazo on 09-Aug-2005 | WidowQ. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow
Submitted by Calamjo
Editede by Curtis
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| Posted by Brynn Barraclough on 09-Aug-2005 | Prenuptial sexA young engaged couple were getting some prenuptial counseling from their minister.
The guy asked, "Is it okay to have sex before the wedding?"
The minister replied, "Not if it delays the ceremony."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by bob pope on 09-Aug-2005 | Yard sale adictA woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale."
"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied.
"Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Zak L. Taylor on 09-Aug-2005 | Care to go upstairs?A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.
"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.
"Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"
So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"
"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.
When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"
"No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Justin R. Timberlake on 09-Aug-2005 | Farmer's wifeSo one night, the farmer gets drunk. He grabs his wife's tits and says, "If these could give milk, we could get rid of the cows."
He grabs her butt and says, "If this could give eggs, we could get rid of the chickens."
The wife grabs the farmer's dick and says, "And if this stayed hard, we could get rid of your brother."
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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