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| Posted by Super Man on 09-Aug-2005 | 30 years...The couple had been married for 30 years, and on their anniversary they decided to go back to the same hotel where they had spent their blissful wedding night.
Her husband was laying on the bed when she came out of the bathroom totally nude, just as she had 30 years before.
She stood seductively before him and asked, "Tell me, darling, what were you thinking 30 years ago when I came out of the bathroom like this?"
He replied, "I took one look at you and thought I'd like to screw your brains out and suck your boobs dry."
"And what are you thinking now, baby?" she asked huskily.
He said, "I'm thinking I did a pretty good job of it!"
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| Posted by Ninja Linda on 09-Aug-2005 | Saving for holidayThere was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but never able to save any money to do so. One day they came with an idea -- each time they have sex, they will put $20.00 bill into piggy bank. They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year.
After that time, they decided that there is enough money for their dream vacation and broke the piggy bank.
The husband looked at their savings and said: "Isn't it strange. Each time we had sex, I put $20.00 into piggy. But here we have many $50.00 and a few $100.00 bills."
The wife replied: "Do you think that everybody is as stingy as you are?"
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| Posted by Amy E. Allendorf on 09-Aug-2005 | Got a headache?It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife.
"That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits," he said. "Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?"
At first she declined. But finally persuaded by her husband, she took off her blouse and bra.
The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting and jumping up and down.
"Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all your clothes and we'll see what he does."
Again she said no and again he persuaded her.
This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars, did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over the cage.
The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and pushed his wife in. "Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell HIM you have a headache!"
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| Posted by Anna P. Crist on 09-Aug-2005 | Too good to be trueA Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness."
The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table."
The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid."
"That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?"
"No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."
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| Posted by Emma on 09-Aug-2005 | Sunday QuickieBill and Linda decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed.
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
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| Posted by derosa_da_man on 09-Aug-2005 | Afairs all roundA wife reaches her husband a silk handkerchief and asks him; "Doesn't this belong to your secretary?".
"Where did you find that?", he stutters.
"I didn't", she answers.
"The mail man found it on your night-stand".
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