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| Posted by Killa V. Sleuce on 09-Aug-2005 | 4 letter wordsA young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother, "So?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language, things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words!
You've got to take me home..., PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down,you need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful?
WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful!
COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like:
dust,
wash,
iron,
cook..."
I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother
Submitted by sai1ram
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Sonya M. Slover on 09-Aug-2005 | Reward moneyA woman was visiting her husband in prison.
"Why hasn't your mom bothered to visit me?" he asked.
She turns to him and replies, "Because she is too busy spending the reward money!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by A very nice person who doesn't swear on 09-Aug-2005 | 24 hoursA man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.
Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex.
Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before die."
She says, "Of course, dear," and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..."
At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by nick collazo on 09-Aug-2005 | WidowQ. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow
Submitted by Calamjo
Editede by Curtis
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| Posted by Brynn Barraclough on 09-Aug-2005 | Prenuptial sexA young engaged couple were getting some prenuptial counseling from their minister.
The guy asked, "Is it okay to have sex before the wedding?"
The minister replied, "Not if it delays the ceremony."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by bob pope on 09-Aug-2005 | Yard sale adictA woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale."
"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied.
"Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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