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| Posted by Brian G. Hurley on 09-Aug-2005 | 40' Long and StiWhat is 40 feet long and smells like urine? Line dancing at the nursing home.
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| Posted by K T. C on 09-Aug-2005 | 80-PounderDid you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
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| Posted by Ishboo M. Sac on 09-Aug-2005 | A Brief Visit to theA man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample. The man was slightly deaf and said, ''What?'' Again, the doctor said, ''I need a blood, urine and feces sample."
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear: ''Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!''
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| Posted by Blah Blah on 09-Aug-2005 | A Definite DefinitioA teacher decides that she is going to teach her second grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is "definitely" and its meaning is "absolute, positive, without a doubt."
She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who is in the back raising her hand, quite sure of herself. Susan stands up and says, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher replies to her, "Well, that's a good sentence but sometimes the sky is gray, and sometimes its cloudy, and sometimes its red and pink so the sky is not definitely blue. Anyone else?"
Tom's hand flies up and she calls on him. Tom answers, "The water is definitely clear."
"Well, Tom that's a good sentence but sometimes the water is muddy, and sometimes it's green, and sometimes it's full of seaweed so it's not definitely clear. Anyone else?"
Finally, in the far corner, little Robert slowly raises his hand.
"Yes, Robert?"
asks the teacher.
"Can I ask a question, teacher?"
Robert replies.
"Yes."
"Do farts have lumps?"
"No. Why do you ask."
"Well, then I've definitely pooped in my pants."
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| Posted by Jimmy White on 09-Aug-2005 | A Fart Smeller or AThere's a woman that has a big problem when it came to farting. She farts all the time, yet is never be able to smell or hear them. So one day she decides to go to the doctor about the problem. She tells him how she is always leaving these long, hard farts that she can never smell or hear. The doctor thinks about it and sends her home with some pills, telling her to come back a week later. When she comes back to his office, she tells him how she still is having these horrible farts, but now they smell like rotting eggs. The doctor's only reaction to this was...
"It's good to know we cleared up your sinuses. Now to work on your hearing...."
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| Posted by Tanya N. Boyce on 09-Aug-2005 | A Giant ProblemDid you hear about the giant with diarrhea? You didn't?! It's all over town!
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