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| Posted by Monnie on 08-Aug-2005 | 40th BirthdayA middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Sherry? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She said, "I want a divorce."
He replied in shock, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
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| Posted by Samantha kicks arse on 08-Aug-2005 | Where Did I come From?One day our Little niece Rita went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come from?"
My sister in law stammered a bit, but finally got her composure. She thought it was time her daughter knew the facts of life. So, she told Little Rita how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed in the womb and finally how a child was born. As my sister in law gave the whole story, Rita's eyes got wider and wider.
When She was finished, Little Rita said "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Uncle Rusty told me. He said that he came from Pennsylvania."
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| Posted by Coolpeas on 08-Aug-2005 | Full DisclosureTired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
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| Posted by codemasta on 08-Aug-2005 | Snoring WifeWhen his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medicine cabinet, got some aspirin and popped two tablets into her gaping mouth.
'Awk, glub!' choked his startled wife. 'What the...'
'It's okay, honey. I gave you some aspirin,' he explained.
'Why? I don't have a headache!'
'Great!' said Harry, triumphantly. 'Let's Make Love!'
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| Posted by Krazy Kin Kid on 08-Aug-2005 | A Womans Favorite AnimalsWhat four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
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| Posted by Tiffany A. LAng on 08-Aug-2005 | Grandma Comes To VisitThe little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear?" she asked.
The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."
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