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| Posted by Harriet Uhm on 09-Aug-2005 | $5 for a PenguinA guy is walking down the street, and he's really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out.
The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out again.
So by this time, he's really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says "Look, I only have five dollars. I'm really horny, and I need a blow-job for 5 dollars!"
The guy there says "OK. For five dollars, we can give you a penguin."
"What's a penguin?"
"You'll see."
So, the guy takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom. The horny man unzips his pants, and waits for his "penguin."
Soon, a whore comes in and starts giving the guy a blow job. Just as he's about to let loose, she stops and walks away. Now, the horny guy with his pants at his ankles, waddles after her, shouting "HEY! WHAT'S A PENGUIN?!"
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| Posted by Mike Richards on 09-Aug-2005 | Caught EntertainingLittle Johnny's father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, "Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby."
The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, "Bow your head, Dad. Can't you see we're having a funeral?"
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| Posted by Ronnie D. Bennett on 09-Aug-2005 | Flying CondomA man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it. An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock so loudly. The passer-by asks, "Who's in your upstairs room?"
The elderly man replies, "I can't see how it's any of your business. But since you must know, my daughter and intended son-in-law are upstairs."
The passer-by hands him the used condom and says, "Well, I just wanted you to know that your intended grandchild fell out the window!"
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| Posted by Brian w. willis on 09-Aug-2005 | The Prince and the PPrince Charming gets very drunk at the ball and ends up staggering out of the palace and into the Royal Vegetable Garden. When the Queen realises that he's missing, she sends all the palace guards out in search of her son.
In just minutes, the head guard finds the errant prince having a jolly good time thrusting his royal dick into a hole in the side of a large, ripe pumpkin.
"Prince Charming!" cries the guard.
"Forgive me for interrupting, but... Do you realise you're fucking a pumpkin?"
The prince stops what he's doing and pulls back to examine the violated pumpkin.
"Oh, my," says the drunken prince.
"Is it midnight already?"
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| Posted by Eric J. Herboso on 09-Aug-2005 | FIVE Times in One NiThis old man marries a girl barely out of her teens. Needless to say she is asking for it so whenever they get into bed on the wedding night she asks him "So are we going to have rampant sex tonight?"
The man responds by raising his hand and outstretching his fingers.
"What? Five times?"
asks the eager girl.
"No", he replied.
"Pick a finger".
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| Posted by Dan Linsky on 09-Aug-2005 | Grandma's IdeaThis man stops over to visit his grand parents, during a hot spell, and finds his grand father standing in front of the air conditioner without any pants on.
Man says: Gramps, what are you doing? You don't have any pants on."
Grandfather says "It's your Grand mothers idea"
"Yesterday it was so hot I stood here without my shirt, and woke up with a stiff neck"
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