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| Posted by Alfredo Guzman on 09-Aug-2005 | 5 minutesWhy do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
They like being able to eat and make love in under 5 minutes.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Niko Tsocanos on 09-Aug-2005 | ExpertA handsome construction worker considered himself quite a stud, and indeed had no trouble persuading a good-looking recent acquaintance to come back to his apartment.
After making love to her, he rolled over and lit a cigarette.
His self-satisfied smile vanished, however, when the woman hopped out of bed and snapped, "You may look like Mel Gibson, but you're lousy in the sack."
The indignant fellow snapped, "I don't see what makes you such an expert after only forty-five seconds!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Samantha A. S on 09-Aug-2005 | First time?A guy was walking down the street when a hooker approached him and said, "Say, wanna have a good time?"
"Sure," he answered her, and they were off to the nearest motel.
She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her.
She says, "Is this the first pussy you've seen since you crawled out of one?"
The guy says, "Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by HeHa hehe on 09-Aug-2005 | Whatcha doin?What does a woman's asshole do during orgasm?
He's usually on the couch in the living room watching TV.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Ryan C. on 09-Aug-2005 | Flip a coinAfter the first week of sex education class, a young shapely teen stormed out of the room after the class was over.
Encountering a female friend in the hall, she asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with you? You look as if you're about to kill someone."
"I am!" Lori fumed. "You just wait until I catch up with that Dennis. All summer long, that clown had me convinced that 'foreplay' involved tossing a coin for position."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Lubo on 09-Aug-2005 | Great inventionsHenry Ford dies and goes to heaven.
At the gates, Saint Peter tells Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention of the car changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven."
So Henry Ford thinks about it and says, "I want to hang out with Adam, the first man."
So the guy at the gates points Adam out to Ford.
When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks, "Hey aren't you the inventor of woman?"
Adam says, "Yes."
"Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1) There is too much front end protusion
2) It chatters at high speeds
3) The rear end wobbles too much
4) and the intake is too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmmmm.." says Adam, "hold on".
So Adam goes to the celestial computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results.
The computer prints out a slip of paper and Adam reads it.
He then says to Ford, "It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer, more men are riding my invention than yours."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
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