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| Posted by Anibell Ector on 10-Aug-2005 | A 2nd graderA 2nd grader comes home from school one day and tells her mom, "Today I
learned how to make babies!" The mother was aghast and sent the girl upstairs to
her room until the father came in. After he had talked to the daughter he told
his wife, 'Yeah, she told me you just drop the Y and add IES."
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| Posted by ASS HOLE on 10-Aug-2005 | Card from SearsMy wife and I had just moved into the neighborhood. We received a card from
Sears (the camp of the enemy) saying "since you are new in town, would you like
to apply for a credit card?" Sure, we decided, filled out the application, and
returned it. Several weeks later we got a rejection from Sears saying "Sorry, we
cannot issue to you a credit card." Reason? "You haven't been in town long
enough."
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| Posted by Sarah Rebeca on 10-Aug-2005 | Payment PlanPayment Plan: While on a shopping expedition, I mistakenly handed the
salesperson my blood-donor card to pay for one of my purchases. He looked at it
and then gave it back, saying, "That's all right, lady. We still only want
money."
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():love jokes (2491): The Lamaze class was in full swing |
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| Posted by Vince Carter on 10-Aug-2005 | The Lamaze class was in full swingThe Lamaze class was in full swing, and the coach was teaching all the women
how to breathe properly and the men how to give assurances and whatever else
they have to do at this late stage of the game. The teacher then stopped and
raised her voice, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially
beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking
with your partner!"
All was quiet in the room, and finally a man in the back raised his hand.
"Yes, " replied the teacher.
??? Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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| Posted by GostaJill on 10-Aug-2005 | No problemDaughter comes to her mother in tears and says:
- since i got married to vasya, he's never had me...
- oh, no problem. tell him to come to me.
he comes, and the girl's mother says:
- when you go to bed with my daughter, you know, you have a knob and she has a
hole, just stick it in and the mother nature will help you.
next day the daughter comes back crying:
- what did you tell him, mom? he plugged his nose into my a****** and shouted:
'mother nature, help me! i'm suffocating!'
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| Posted by Bradley H. Stanley on 10-Aug-2005 | SleepingA man returns home in the early morning. His wife berates him:
- Where the hell have you been? I could not sleep all night!
- You think I was sleeping?
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