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():battle of sexes (734): A Bottle Of Perfume


Posted by El Nabo on 13-Aug-2005

A Bottle Of Perfume

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

Submitted By: Jennie


   

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():battle of sexes (734): There were three men stranded on a dessert...


Posted by danny on 13-Aug-2005

There were three men stranded on a dessert...

There were three men stranded on a dessert island. As it happens on desert islands, one of them found a bottle with a genie. The genie said "Because there are three of you, you each get one wish."

The first guy said "I want a limo." BOOM He has a limo.

The second guy said "I want a million dollars." Boom he is swimming in money.

The third guy said " I want to be irresistible to women." BOOM he turns into a CHOCOLATE BAR!


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Dear John


Posted by Doran m. Langley on 13-Aug-2005

Dear John

A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her while stationed in Saudi Arabia. So she sends him a very special care package. He is very excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows.

He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park.

Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees giving his best friend oral sex.

After a few seconds, he does his business in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce."

Now that's a Dear John letter...


   

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():battle of sexes (734): His last request


Posted by Brian Cannon on 13-Aug-2005

His last request

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "Aye, that he did, Father...

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that dang gun...'"


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Losing it all


Posted by Chris W. Hoover on 13-Aug-2005
Losing it all
"I had it all; money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!"

"What happened?" asked the friend.

"My wife found out..."


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Grandpa doesn't fly


Posted by symmerhaze on 13-Aug-2005
Grandpa doesn't fly
One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th-floor apartment, killing him instantly.

When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in defense of herself. Well, Your Honor, she began coolly. I figured that at 92, if he could fuck, he could fly!


   

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