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| Posted by Twiggy Ramirez on 10-Aug-2005 | A boy and his girl friendA boy takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when
they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her,
"Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy?"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night no one will show up."
"I've already said NO, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small bowie... I know you like it too."
"NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
"My love. Don??™t be like that."
At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in nightgown with hair
totally in disorder, rubbing her eyes and says. "Dad says either you have to
blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob
himself, but for God's sake to tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the
intercom!"
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| Posted by Max Margulies on 10-Aug-2005 | Can I borrow that mule?Her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place, visited a
newlywed farmer and his wife. The Farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to
his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic
relationship.
To no avail, she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes,
offering unwanted advice, and making life unbearable to the farmer and his new
bride.
While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up
and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and
greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a man would
whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something.
Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake
his head, no and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer
what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a
terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would
ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'can??™t. It's
all booked up for a year.'
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| Posted by Philip Jennings on 10-Aug-2005 | A rural coupleA rural couple had made sacrifices to save money to send their only son to
college. Once there, he began to grown long sideburns, a mustache, and a goatee.
When his facial hair was luxurious enough to satisfy him, he had his photograph
taken and mailed it home with a note that read: "Fascinating, no? Don't I
perhaps look like a count?"
"You idiot!" His father wrote back. "Here we are spending a fortune on your
education and you can't even SPELL!"
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| Posted by Brian M. Lowsley on 10-Aug-2005 | Two brothersTwo brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the
inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed
incredibly long, oversized penises.
"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.
"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for
your elongated penises?"
"No sir, our mother."
"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit???, but she only had one arm, and when it
came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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| Posted by Ligia Albeanu on 10-Aug-2005 | An Italian familyAn italian family was sitting at the dinner table when the father asks his
oldest son tony! "why are you such a fat f***?"
the son replies: "pops, it's mom's pasta! i can't stop eating it." the father
says: "you should take smaller bites! it will make you trim."
then the father asks the second son: "anthony! why are you such a fat f***?"
the son replies: "pops, it's mom's pizza! i can't stop eating it it's so
good!"
papa says: "you should also take smaller bites. ask your other brother angelo
how he stays trim."
angelo replies: "it's easy! i eat lots of pussy."
to which the father replies: "pussy? pussy tastes like s***!"
to which angelo replies: "you pops! you should take smaller bites!"
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| Posted by Ward Duncan on 10-Aug-2005 | A fishermanStanding at the edge of the lake, a fisherman saw a woman flailing about in
the deep water. Another man was standing on the shore screaming for help.
The fisherman ran over to the man. "Help!" the other man started, "I can't
swim! My wife's drowning! I'll give you $1000 if you save her!"
The fisherman jumps in the water, swims powerfully out to the drowning woman,
puts his arm around her, and swims back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of
the man, the fisherman coughs up water, then says, "[cough] ok, bud, where's my
'grand'?"
"But, this is my *mother-in-law*!"
The fisherman reaches into his pocket with a frown and says, "Just my luck.
Ok, how much do I owe you?"
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