A country girlhad just moved to the city and...

So, sure enough, at the dance, a boy came up to her and asked her to dance.

Her reply: No, thank you, I am constipated on macroni and I think I will shit this one out.

What do you call a lesbian with two girlfriends?...

A "Bush Hog."

My wife says I never listen to her....

At least I think that's what she said.

Time: Early Sixties. Place: Yourtown, USA...

A young unmarried couple decides after a few dates that they are going to sleep together. So, the guy, Tom, goes to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms.

Tom goes up to the pharmacy counter and asks the pharmacist for some Trojans, (just like the kid in Summer of '42). The pharmacist looks at Tom disgustedly and says, "What's wrong with you kids today, ya go on two dates and you wanna go to bed with each other. Why can't ya save sex for when ya get married. You should wait until you're married! Sex before marriage is a sin ya know."

Well Tom calmed down the pharmacist and explained that his generation was a little different. He said that he and his girlfriend were just trying to act responsibly and take precautions against pregnancy and disease. The pharmacist conceded that times were changing and finally sold him the condoms.

That same night Tom was invited over to his girlfriend Katey's house for dinner with the family. When they all sat down, Tom asked Katey's father if he could say grace. Her father said yes and Tom proceded to say a beautiful eleven minute grace thanking everyone from the Pilgrims to the President for the meal they were about to eat.

After dinner Katey took Tom aside and smiling, said, "Tom, you never told me you were so religious!" Tom smiled back and said, "Well, Katey, you never told me you father was a pharmacist."

There are 3 stages of sex after marriage....

The second stage is the "Bedroom" stage, when you'll only do it in the bedroom with the lights turned out.

The third stage is the "Hallway" stage, when you pass each other in the hallway and say "Screw you!"

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo...

A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations.

When the third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?"

The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."