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| Posted by joeyo on 10-Aug-2005 | A coupleA couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it
any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make
some money through prostitution to get by.
So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the
evening he picked her up again.
"So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked.
"Well", the woman responded, "I've made one hundred dollars and fifty cents."
"That's strange", the husband responded, "who gave you the fifty cents?"
Said the woman: "All of them, of course!"
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| Posted by Andy on 10-Aug-2005 | Women??™s lib in EgyptAn archeologist returned to Egypt a few years after WWII ended having been
earlier chased out from the digs by the Nazi Invasion.
Through the local grapevine he contacted his old trusted pre-war guide Ahmed
and arranged to meet him at the crossroads to the digs they used to meet at
before the war.
at the specified date the archeologist waited at the crossroads and viewed his
guide approaching him and as they met and warmly embraced, he exclaimed "Ah -
Ahmed it is wonderful to see you again after all these years. But tell me this,
before the war when we met you would be riding the donkey and your wife would
walk in the dust 20 yards behind you. But today we meet an your wife now rides
the donkey and you walk behind her 20 yards in the dust. What is happening, do
we now have Women??™s Liberation in Egypt."
Ahmed sadly shook his head no and replied - "Ah Effendi - we have women??™s lib
here in Egypt - yes - but this is much, much worse LAND MINES."
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| Posted by Raoku on 10-Aug-2005 | Gone deafA drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over
the road. A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"
"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few.
??? I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a
few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens,"
sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
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| Posted by John Walsh on 10-Aug-2005 | I am a womanHe's kissing you.
I'm a woman.
He starts feeling on you.
I'm a woman.
He takes you in your house.
I'm a woman.
He takes you to your bedroom.
I'm a woman.
He shuts the door.
I'm a woman.
He turns off the lights.
I'm a woman.
He whispers in your ear.
I'm a woman.
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| Posted by Brandi Bender on 10-Aug-2005 | Baked beansOnce there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and
She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her
car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country
she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she
would have to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked
beans was more than she could stand since she still had miles to walk,
she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she
reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she
had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably sure she could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed
delightedly,??? Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his
wife, the telephone rang.
He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He
then went to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of
the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg, and
let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she
went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned
the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and
folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she
assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and was she surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests there to wish her a Happy Birthday"!!!
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