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| Posted by Teri A. Byard on 10-Aug-2005 | A cowboy and his horseA cowboy walks out of a bar and a second later
comes back in, mighty mad. "Okay," he growls. "Now
which one of you hombres went outside a painted
my horse bright red while I was drinking"?
Nobody answers, and the cowpoke draws his six
shooter and yells, "I said which one of you mangy
polecats painted my horse red?
Slowly one of the cowboys at the bar stands up.
He is 6 feet, 10 inches tall, and he pulls a
small cannon from his holster. "I done it", he growls.
The first cowboy puts his gun back into his holster
and says, "Just wanted to let you know the first coat's
dry???.
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| Posted by Jon K. Hadley on 10-Aug-2005 | Green upMrs. McKenzie was showing Corbett, the contractor, through the second floor of
her new house to show him what colors to paint the rooms. "I'd like the bathroom
done in white!"
Corbett walked over to the window and shouted, "Green up! Green up!"
"I want the bedroom in blue!" continued the woman.
The contractor listened and yelled out the window, "Green up! Green up!"
"The halls should be done in beige!" she instructed. Again, the man barked out
the window, "Green up! Green up!"
"Will you stop that?!" shouted the woman. "Every time I give you a color, all
you do is shout 'Green up!' What the devil does that mean?"
'Tm real sorry, ma'am!" explained Corbett. "But I got three Oklahoma
basketball players down there tryin' to put in the front lawn!"
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| Posted by Frank Geritano on 10-Aug-2005 | America has finally captured Saddam ...America has finally captured Saddam Hussein!
They sprayed a field with Viagra, and the prick stood up!
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| Posted by Richard T. Icke on 10-Aug-2005 | CNN Late Breaking News!It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was captured this morning at 4:22 AM
Pacific Standard Time by U.S. Special Forces.
The main suspect of the attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, bin
Laden was captured at gunpoint as he fled an underground tunnel in a deserted
mountainside of southern Afghanistan.
Northern Alliance troops, who witnessed the events unfold, explained that
moments earlier United States war planes had sprayed liquid Viagra across
southern Afghanistan, and the little prick just popped up!
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| Posted by Anna K on 10-Aug-2005 | Assembly RequiredA gynecologist tired of his profession, and wanting less responsibility,
decided a career change was in order. After some serious thought, he decided
that being an engine mechanic, something he had once enjoyed prior to college,
would be a good choice. However, it had been a long time since he had tinkered
with an engine and he knew that in order to compete with the younger workforce,
he would have to go to school.
He enrolled in a technical institute that specialized in teaching auto
mechanics. He aced the course, but the final exam required each student to
completely strip and reassemble an engine. It was with some trepidation that he
took the test. At completion, he turned the engine over to his instructors for
evaluation and awaited his final grade.
When they were handed out, he did a double take at the 150% grade he received.
Rather confused, he asked his instructors how it was possible to have a grade
like this.
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| Posted by Elby on 10-Aug-2005 | Ba Ba Black SheepClem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd
first had sex.
"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a
warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and
made love for hours," Clem recalled.
"That sounds wonderful," said Jed.
"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right
there watching us."
"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her
daughter?"
"Baaaaa..."
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