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| Posted by Paul Adelman on 09-Aug-2005 | A Dog Named SexA Dog Named Sex Everyone that has a dog names him "Rover: or "Champ" or something like that. Well, I named my dog sex. Now... Sex has been very imbarrassing for me. When I went to city hall to get him a licence... I told the clerk that I would like a licence for sex. He said "I would like one too!" Then I said "But this a dog."
He said " I don't care what she looks like."
I said "You don't understand, I've had sex since I was 9 years old."
He said, I must of been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon I took the dog along with us. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife, myself and specail one for sex. He said "That every room was for sex."
I said "You don't understand sex keeps me up at night."
He said "Me too!"
One day I enter Sex in a contest. But, before the compitition began, the dog ran off. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing and looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should of sold tikets.
"But you don't understand" I said " I had hoped to have Sex on TV."
He called me a show off!
When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your Honor, I have had Sex before we were married."
The judge said "Me too."
Then I told him after I was married Sex left me."
He said "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over and asked me "What are you doing in this alley at 4 a.m. in the morning?"
I said " I was looking for Sex."
The casse comes up on Frieday!!!
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| Posted by Shalene J. Mccully on 09-Aug-2005 | Kids say the...A little girl heard her parents fighting. She heard them say the words bitch and asshole. She asked her dad what they meant and he said ladies and gentlemen. She heard her parents fighting again and heard the words dick and pussy. She asked her mom what they meant and her mom said hats and coats.
It was thanksgiving and her dad was upstairs shaving and he cut himself and said shit. The little girl asked what it meant and he said shaving. Her mom was downstairs carving the turkey and cut herself and said fuck. She asked what it meant and her mom said carving the turkey.
The doorbell rang and the little girl answered it. It was her grandparents and other relatives. She said, "Welcome bitches and assholes. Put your dicks and pussy??™s in the closet, Daddy is upstairs shitting and mommy is in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
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| Posted by Sun -. Shine on 09-Aug-2005 | Words Of AdviceThere was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.
Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."
She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.???
Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.
The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.
She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
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| Posted by katy m on 09-Aug-2005 | leg overHUSBAND: "Would you like sex tonight? WIFE: "No" HUSBAND: "Are you sure"? WIFE: "Yes I'm sure."
HUSBAND: "Is that your final answer?"
WIFE: "Yes it is."
HUSBAND: "In that case can i phone a friend"?
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| Posted by janet on 09-Aug-2005 | The I.R.S. condomA young man and his girlfriend decide its time for them to make love for the first time.They go to the local pharmacy and decide on a popular condom,priced at one dollar a piece.Embarassed, they give it to the clerk ,who scans it and says"That will be $1.07" The young man ,looking confused, asks the clerk"They say over there,a dollar a piece,whats the 7cents for? To which the clerk replies"Tax".The young man hands over the money,looks at his girlfriend and says "Oh,good,I was wondering what held it on".
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| Posted by The Gekko on 09-Aug-2005 | Wow! Big BoxA lady was laying on the doctor's table, waiting for her annual pap test. The doctor came in, and as he was preparing himself, she mentioned that she had 6 kids. He said "Yeah, I can tell....You have the biggest box I have ever seen". She was offended as hell, and after she got home, she went into the bathroom, and took the mirror off the wall, and laid it on the floor so she could have a look for herself. As she squatted over the mirror, her husband walked in and saw her. He asked her what she was doing. She said "I am doing my exercizes. He said " Well, be careful. Don't fall into that f*cking hole"
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