|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Ward Duncan on 10-Aug-2005 | A fishermanStanding at the edge of the lake, a fisherman saw a woman flailing about in
the deep water. Another man was standing on the shore screaming for help.
The fisherman ran over to the man. "Help!" the other man started, "I can't
swim! My wife's drowning! I'll give you $1000 if you save her!"
The fisherman jumps in the water, swims powerfully out to the drowning woman,
puts his arm around her, and swims back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of
the man, the fisherman coughs up water, then says, "[cough] ok, bud, where's my
'grand'?"
"But, this is my *mother-in-law*!"
The fisherman reaches into his pocket with a frown and says, "Just my luck.
Ok, how much do I owe you?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by julian t. mansfield on 10-Aug-2005 | A small boy was lostA small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my
dad!"
The cop said, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():love jokes (2491): The wife cheating her Husband |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Troy Bynoe on 10-Aug-2005 | The wife cheating her HusbandThere was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful blonde
teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always
wanted.
After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and, sure enough, nine months
later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to
see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he
had ever seen.
He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of
that child.
"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." Then he gave her a stern
look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time???.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():love jokes (2491): A father charges into the bathroom and starts yell |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jizzle on 10-Aug-2005 | A father charges into the bathroom and starts yellA father charges into the bathroom and starts yelling at his son "Son! How
many times have I told you not to do that? Stop it! If you keep doing that,
you'll go blind!"
The son replies: "I'm over here, Dad."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():love jokes (2491): A teacher notices that a little boy .... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Rey Jose on 10-Aug-2005 | A teacher notices that a little boy ....A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming
around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She goes back to find
out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently
been circumcised and he's quite itchy.
The teacher has him go down to the principal's office, to phone his mom, and
ask her what he should do about it.
He does this and returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly,
there's a general commotion at the back of the room.
Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis
hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom," she says.
"I did," he says???, and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon,
she'd come and pick me up from school???.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jack B. Quick on 10-Aug-2005 | Innocent ManA man comes home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the
bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and
panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He
rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old
son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Mick's hiding in your wardrobe and
he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his
screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his
brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.
"You bonehead!" says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack, and you're
running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
