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():sex jokes (1888): Viagra for the guy with three women |
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| Posted by John A. Bennett on 13-Aug-2005 | Viagra for the guy with three womenCrazy Mike walks into the pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Look, I've got three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, so what have you got to keep me horny and potent all night?"
The pharmacist reaches down, unlocks a bottom drawer and brings up a box labeled 'Viagra Extra Strength' containing single wrapped packets. He says, "Take one of these and you'll go crazy for 12 hours."
Crazy Mike replies, "Hell, gimme three"
The next day Mike returns to the same pharmacist, who smiles and asks, "Well, how'd it go?" In answer, Mike pulls down his pants, to display his penis that's black and blue and blistered, one of the sorriest sights the pharmacist had ever seen.
Crazy Mike says, "Gimme a tube of Ben Gay."
The pharmacist replies in horror. "You're not going to put Ben Gay on that are you?"
Mike replies, "Hell, no, it's for my arms. The girls didn't show up."
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():sex jokes (1888): A newly married couple was on holiday in the... |
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| Posted by greenmachine on 13-Aug-2005 | A newly married couple was on holiday in the...A newly married couple was on holiday in the Middle East and they came upon the main city bazaar. They walked around the market place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard a gentleman say "you foreigners? Come in my friends. Come into my humble shop. Salam aleekem!" (hello in English) So the couple walked in. The bazaar merchant says to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel."
After hearing this statement, the wife became intrigued and encouraged her husband to try them on. Her husband smirked and winked at his wife, with the comment, "I don't think I really need them." But since they were having fun in the bazaar, he asked the merchant, "So, how could sandals make you into a sex animal.?"
The merchant smiled and replied "Just try them on, my friend, trust me!" Well, in the combined spirit of goodwill and after much badgering from his wife, he finally consented to try them on. The husband put the shoes on and a wild look seemed to appear in his eyes, something his wife has not seen in many years -- the look of raw sexual power.
In a blink of the eye, the husband rushed the merchant, threw him on the table and started tearing at the guys pants. While trying to run away, the bazaar merchant is yelling non-stop "You've got the shoes on the wrong feet... You've got the shoes the wrong feet.."
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| Posted by Blitz Krieg on 13-Aug-2005 | Fire HazardThe firemen finally get a huge fire under control, and Chief Mattea has all of his men accounted for except Olson and Rosolino.
After a few minutes' search, the chief looks down an alley, and there's Rosolino, leaning over a trash can. His pants are down to his ankles, and Olson is banging away from behind.
Chief Mattea says, "What the hell is going on?"
Olson says, "Rosolino passed out from smoke inhalation."
The chief says, "Smoke inhalation? You're supposed to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!"
Olson says, "I did, Chief. That's how this business got started."
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