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():battle of sexes (734): A girl who is seventeen...


Posted by Lewis W. Winn on 07-Aug-2005

A girl who is seventeen...

A girl who is seventeen
is much more of a woman
than a boy who is seventeen.
   

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():battle of sexes (734): Why does Dolly Parton have such a small waist?...


Posted by Fantastique Lindsay on 07-Aug-2005

Why does Dolly Parton have such a small waist?...

Why does Dolly Parton have such a small waist?
- Because nothing grows well in the shade.

   

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():battle of sexes (734): A couple went to a certain nude resort for...


Posted by Amber L. Marriott on 07-Aug-2005

A couple went to a certain nude resort for...

A couple went to a certain nude resort for their honeymoon. The husband fell asleep as he was tanning himself on the beach. When he woke, his "tool", shall we say, was red and respectably sunburned. As it itched and hurt quite a bit, he went back to the cabin to find something to cool it with. When he got back to his cabin, he opened the refrigerator, and to his dismay, there was no ice, no water, nothing with which to cool his "tool", only a quart of milk. Being desparate, he poured the milk in to a glass, and stuck his dong in it to cool it. At that moment, his wife walked in. Taking a look at her naked husband and the strategic placement of the glass of milk, she exclaimed, "Aha! So that's how you reload!"
   

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():battle of sexes (734): When Jake Parsons died and went to heaven...


Posted by I'm Angel on 07-Aug-2005

When Jake Parsons died and went to heaven...

When Jake Parsons died and went to heaven he saw a guy at the gate who said, "Jake Parsons...let's see...oh, yes. You go down that hall and into the third door on your right."

So Jake went past the first door and looked in. Inside was Atilla the Hun standing alone in a dark room. Suddenly a spotlight hit the opposite wall and a door opened and out stepped the most disgusting, ugly, vile, wart-covered woman... A voice boomed out: "Atilla the Hun, you have been very evil! Your punishment is to spend eternity with this hag!!!"

Jake walked on further and looked into the second room. Adolph Hitler was in there, the room was dark, and a spotlight hit the opposite wall and this even more disgusting old hag walked into the room. A voice boomed out: "Adolf Hitler, you have been very evil! Your punishment is to spend eternity with this hag!!!"

So Jake finally came to his door, opened it and entered a dark room. Suddenly a spotlight hit the opposite wall, and out stepped Michelle Pfeiffer...! Jake was delighted. Just then a voice boomed out: "Michelle Pfeiffer, you have been very evil...!"

   

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():battle of sexes (734): If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine...


Posted by Chelsea Wilson on 07-Aug-2005
If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine...
If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you, what have you usually done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

   

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():battle of sexes (734): My wife asked me for one of those sporty 4...


Posted by Joe Bratone on 07-Aug-2005
My wife asked me for one of those sporty 4...
My wife asked me for one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles for Christmas, but I bought her a beautiful diamond ring instead. Somebody needs to invent a fake Jeep.
   

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