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| Posted by Guillermo Macias on 12-Aug-2005 | A good sport!John receives a phone call.
"Hello," he answers.
The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan.
We met at a party about 3 months ago."
John: "hmmm... Susan? You say we met 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party gave me a ride home. On the way home, we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are have you been?"
Susan: "Well, I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you really ARE a good sport!"
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():dirty jokes (1575): "Very Offensive" Space Shuttle Jokes. |
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| Posted by Spencer Smith on 12-Aug-2005 | "Very Offensive" Space Shuttle Jokes.Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words to her husband?
A: "You feed the kids - I'll feed the fish."
Q: What does NASA stand for?
A1: Need Another Seven Astronauts
A2: Need Another Shuttle Also
Q: Did you know why there was only one black crew member on Challenger?
A: They didn't know it was going to blow up.
Q: Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?
A: Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't get 7-UP.
Q: On future shuttle missions, why will one of the astronauts have to be a naval officer?
A: So when they decide to use it as an experimental submarine, they'll have a rated officer onboard.
Q: How many people will fit in a Florida Volkswagen?
A: Four in the seats and seven in the ashtray.
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| Posted by Mulder lover (I'm Scully) on 12-Aug-2005 | The Lone Ranger and TontoOne day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to ground..."
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():dirty jokes (1575): More of the world's shortest books! |
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| Posted by Marco The Great on 12-Aug-2005 | More of the world's shortest books!A new list of the "World's Shortest Books":
STAYING HAPPILY MARRIED
-by Elizabeth Taylor
BEAUTY SECRETS
-by Janet Reno
HOME BUILT AIRPLANES
-by John Denver
DOWN HILL SKIING
-by Sonny Bono
HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL
-by Dan Marino
FLYING AT NIGHT
-by JFK, Jr.
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
-by Hillary Clinton
MY LIFE'S MEMORIES
-by Ronald Reagan
THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD-
by Bill Gates
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
-by O. J. Simpson
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
-by Dennis Rodman
THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH
-by the Ramseys
AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
HELLEN KELLER'S BIRDWATCHING GUIDE
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| Posted by eric a. leonard on 12-Aug-2005 | LesbianQ. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A. Well-hung!!
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| Posted by janet reisdorfer on 12-Aug-2005 | On the Menu today!A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
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Cheese Sandwich $ 1.50
Chicken Sandwich $ 2.50
Hand Job $10.00
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Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill.
He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am!"
The man replies "Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
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