A guy walks into a bar with two lovely blondes...

As soon as the bartender has finished setting everybody up again, the dwarf jumps back up on the bar and kicks over everybody's drinks again. The bartender says, "That's it: you and your friends, out!"

The guy says, "Never mind, just set everybody up again, and I'll control the dwarf this time, and I'll pay for it, and here's an extra twenty for your trouble."

The bartender says, "OK, but I don't understand why you put up with him."

The guy says, "It happened like this. I found an old oil lamp, and being superstitious I rubbed it, and sure enough, out came a genie and granted me three wishes. I asked for a roll of twenties that would never end: POOF, there it was. I asked for two lovely blonde women, one for each arm, who are totally devoted to me: POOF, there they were. So finally I asked for a two-foot prick: POOF, there he was."

A woman got on a bus and not finding a seat...

"I'm sorry," he said, "I couldn't tell."

She sat down and said, "That's understandable, it's only been 20 minutes."

Johni the queer decides to change his gender,...

One week later he returns to the bar, and now he/she is a beautifull blonde. His/her friend ask him/her "Hey tell us, how that operation was like?"

"Well," he/she says, "it was the worst experience I had in my life!" "Why?" asks the friend.

"Well, when they put the tits, it was acking like hell. when they cut off my dick, I felt as I could die. but then the worst was when they start cutting half of my brain... "

The president of Chase Manhattan Bank, after...

After his arrival in Taipei, the president receives an urgent message from headquarters that the richest man in Taiwan wants to put all his money into a Chase Manhattan account. Since the account would be quite substantial, the president decides to meet personally with the man.

The next day, the president and his secretary go to meet the Taiwanese business at a really expensive restaurant. Throughout the dinner, the president tries to bring up the subject of opening the accounts for the Taiwanese businessman. However, the prospective client only seems to be interested in the president's secretary. After the dinner, the businessman asks the secretary to spend the rest of the evening seeing the sights in Taipei with him. Not wishing to offend the prospective client, the president orders his secretary to spend some time with the man. He tells her that she must be diplomatic and under no circumstances is she to insult the man by rejecting him outright.

After going to a dance club for a few hours, the businessman takes the secretary aside. As he holds her hand and looks her straight in the eyes, he tells her that he loves her. Then, he gets on his knees and asks her to marry him.

Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.

So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara.

The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No problem!! I buy. I buy."

Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."

The man pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone, calls some brokers in New York, then he calls some brokers in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says "Okay, okay. I build, I build."

Realizing that she has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally, she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like to have sex, I want the man I marry to have a 12-inch penis."

The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table. All the while, he's muttering something in Chinese. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the man shakes his head, looking real sad, says to the woman "I cut. I cut."

Adam must have been some kind of a nut! Who...

What's the difference between an old prostitute...

A young prostitute uses KY Jelly, an old prostitute uses Polyfiller.