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| Posted by El Nabo on 13-Aug-2005 | A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to...A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long
flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if
she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take
a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to
catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and
a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't
know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she
politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know
the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will
pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will
easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and
figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she
plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the
earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to
her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the
lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a
hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks
at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and
searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his
modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he
knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde
and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns
away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde
and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the
blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back
to sleep.
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| Posted by Sheauntei Ferguson on 13-Aug-2005 | The L O N G drive to workOne guy's story...
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything stupid to me or near me in traffic; and here's why...
I drive 38 miles each way, every day, to work. That's 76 miles, of which 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. So, if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for just the 32 miles that traffic is bumper to bumper.
That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars, plus the rest of my 34 mile commute which is not bumper-to-bumper, where I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.
Statistically half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000. In any given group of females, 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. . . . That is 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, that's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's 98. And, 34% describe men as their biggest problem, that's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and the number is increasing.
That means, that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.
No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of flipping her off.
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