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| Posted by Joe on 13-Aug-2005 | A limited arousalA man is having problems with his penis, which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, ''Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your penis is burned out. You only have 30 erections left in your penis.''
The man walks home, deeply depressed. His wife is waiting for him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doctor told him. She says, ''Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!'' He replies, ''Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it.''
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():sex jokes (1888): Kiss anything that moves |
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():sex jokes (1888): Describing your wife's . . . |
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| Posted by Private Private on 13-Aug-2005 | Off DutyA police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, ''Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache.''
''Certainly, honey,'' he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store. As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, ''Say,'' said the druggist, ''I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?''
''Yeah, so?'' said the officer. ''Well what the heck are you doing all dressed up like the Fire Chief?''
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| Posted by Goth Chik on 13-Aug-2005 | In the showerA salesman rang the door bell and little Johnny answered. The salesman asked if his father was at home. Johnny said, ''Yes.'' The salesman said, ''Well, can I see him please?'' Johnny snickered and said, ''No, he is in the shower.'' Then the salesman asked if his mother was at home. Johnny said, ''Yes.''
The salesman said, ''Well can I see her?'' Johnny snickered again and said, ''No, she's in the shower too.'' The salesman then asked, ''Do you think they will be out soon?'' Johnny laughed this time and said ''No.'' The salesman asked, ''Why?''
''Well'', Johnny said, ''when my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him some Super Glue.''
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