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| Posted by Justin Lebar on 09-Aug-2005 | A Little... Oral?The bar was getting ready to close, so Richard asked the nearest woman, "What would you say to a little "oral" activity?"
"That all depends,..."
she quickly responded.
"...Your face, or mine?"
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| Posted by ciaran kelly on 09-Aug-2005 | Grab My Breasts!A woman walks into Target to return a faulty toaster she just purchased the day before. She walks up to the Customer Service counter and slams the toaster down. The pimple-faced boy looks up and says,"Welcome to Target. May I help you?"
The woman glares at him and says, "I'd like to return this toaster I bought yesterday."
The boy, looking puzzled, asks,"Ok, ma'am. Do you have your receipt?"
She shakes her head no. The clerk then says, "I'm sorry ma'am, without a receipt, you cannot make a return."
The woman begins to yell,"Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The boy is embarrassed and confused. He looks around and spots his manager; frantically, he beckons him over.
"Sir, this lady would like to return this toaster she bought yesterday."
The manager looks at the woman and says,"Do you have a receipt?"
Once again, the woman says no.
"I'm sorry, the Target policy states that we cannot take returns without a receipt."
Suddenly, the woman begins to shout again, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The manager looks at her and says,"Why do you keep saying to grab your breasts?"
The woman looks at him and says,"Because, I like to have my breasts grabbed when I'm getting fucked!"
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| Posted by John Mcmunn on 09-Aug-2005 | Sleeping with the SeMr. Briggs spent the night in his secretary??™s apartment. He woke up at three in the morning.
"My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!" Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife.
"Honey!" he began, "Don??™t pay the ransom. I escaped!"
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| Posted by Enric Clive on 09-Aug-2005 | Mother-in-law ProbleJohn was in a bar looking very dejected. His friend, Steve, walked over and asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's my mother-in-law," John replied, while shaking his head sadly.
"I have a real problem with her."
"Cheer up," Steve said.
"Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law."
"Yeah," John answered.
"But I got mine pregnant."
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| Posted by glenno on 09-Aug-2005 | KnickerlessJoe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.
The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?"
"Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes.
"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."
Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss.
Joe, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do.
"I can also make it wink," says the woman. Joe stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him.
"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Joe moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
Stunned, Joe replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"
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| Posted by Melissa Pena on 09-Aug-2005 | Rumor MillNina and Rosey, two old friends are having coffee when Nina says, "I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!"
"Oh, no! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive," said Rosey.
Nina said, "I also heard that you've been calling me fat!"
Rosey replied, "Oh, no! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are."
Nina then said, "I also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!"
Rosey rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, no! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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