|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
():sex jokes (1888): A man is going on a business trip |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Ella F. Unt on 10-Aug-2005 | A man is going on a business tripA man is going on a business trip to New Orleans and has to take his wife. So
they catch the plane there. And as soon as they arrive the man gets called back,
and to be nice to his wife he tells her to stay and enjoy her vacation. So the
day before the man is scheduled to leave him starts thinking what if she cheats
on me out of boredom, so he decides to go to the sex shop and bye her toy. When
he arrives he asks the manager if he has anything really special. So the manager
tells him that he does have a really old dildo with magical powers, and the man
replies yeah right. So the manager says voodoo dick the door and the dildo gets
up and flees at the door and starts pecking at it, then the manager says voodoo
dick box and the dildo flies back into its box. The man instantly replies I??™ll
take it, but the manager replies it is not for sale, but u can rent it. So the
man takes it to his wife and tells her the story, but she doesn't believe him
either, so the man replies voodoo dick the water melon. The dildo goes flying
into the water melon. The wife is so happy about her present she makes
passionate love to her husband. The next day the husband leaves. After a few
days the wife starts getting board and decides to use her present. So she says
voodoo dick my pussy, so the dildo does what it is told and goes into her
vagina. After a while the woman realizes she doesn't know how to turn it off. So
she gets in her car and heads for the hospital, on the way she is having so many
orgasms that she is swerving all over the road. after a while she gets pulled
over by a cop, and the cop says why are u driving like a maniac, and the woman
replies well there is this voodoo dick, and it is giving me orgasms, and all of
a sudden the cop shouts VOODO DICK MY ASS!!!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jaron M. Quigley on 10-Aug-2005 | The wedding dateThe wedding date was set and the groom??™s three pals- a carpenter, an
electrician, and a dentist- were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on
their wedding night.
The carpenter decided that he would saw the slats off their bed.
The electrician figured that wiring the bed with alternating current would
give them a few chuckles.
The dentist would not tell what he had done, but wore a sly grin and swore
that it would be memorable.
The wedding and reception went as planned. A few days later, each of the
groom's three friends received a letter saying the following:
"Dear friends, we did not mind the bed slats being sawed. The electric shock
was only a minor setback but I am going to kill the S.O.B. that put Novocain in
the K-Y Jelly."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():sex jokes (1888): A man is in a hotel lobby |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lauren C. Mcguire on 10-Aug-2005 | A man is in a hotel lobbyA man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question and as he
turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman besides
knocking his elbow into her breast.
They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Betsy on 10-Aug-2005 | WifeWife: "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten
dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband: "How about the ones like mine?"
Wife: "Those they gave away free as novelty items."
Husband: "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off vaginas. The
pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two
thousand."
Wife: "And how much for the ones like mine?" Husband: "That's where they held
the auction."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Piper_85 on 10-Aug-2005 | THERE WERE THREE MENTHERE WERE THREE MEN WHO WANTED TO HAVE A DRINK IN A PUB SO THEY WENT AND AS
SOON AS THEY GOT THERE IT DIDNT HAVE A NAME SO THE FIRST ONE GOES LETS CALL IT
THE QUEENS NOSE AND THE SECOND ONE SAID NO LETS CALL IT THE QUEENS ARMS AND THE
THIRD ONE SAID NO LETS CALL IT THE QUEENS LEGS SO THEY SAID YEA THEN A POLICE
MAN COME ALONG AND SAID EXUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING AND THEY REPLYED WE ARE JUST
WAITING FOR THE QUEENS LEGS TO OPEN UP TO GET A DRINK.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():sex jokes (1888): Mr. Perkins, the anatomy instructor |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by snickers13107 on 10-Aug-2005 | Mr. Perkins, the anatomy instructorMr. Perkins, the anatomy instructor at a posh suburban girl??™s college, said
during class, "Miss Smyth, would you please name the organ of the human body,
which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size,
and define the conditions."
Miss Smyth gasped, and then said coldly, "Mr. Perkins, I don't think that is a
proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this." With
that, she sat down red faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Summers and asked the same question.
Miss Summers, with composure, replied. "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr., Perkins. "And now, Miss Smyth, I have three things to say
to you.
One, you have not studied your lesson.
Two, you have a dirt mind...and
Three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
