|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
():sex jokes (1888): A man is in a hotel lobby |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lauren C. Mcguire on 10-Aug-2005 | A man is in a hotel lobbyA man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question and as he
turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman besides
knocking his elbow into her breast.
They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Betsy on 10-Aug-2005 | WifeWife: "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten
dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband: "How about the ones like mine?"
Wife: "Those they gave away free as novelty items."
Husband: "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off vaginas. The
pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two
thousand."
Wife: "And how much for the ones like mine?" Husband: "That's where they held
the auction."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Piper_85 on 10-Aug-2005 | THERE WERE THREE MENTHERE WERE THREE MEN WHO WANTED TO HAVE A DRINK IN A PUB SO THEY WENT AND AS
SOON AS THEY GOT THERE IT DIDNT HAVE A NAME SO THE FIRST ONE GOES LETS CALL IT
THE QUEENS NOSE AND THE SECOND ONE SAID NO LETS CALL IT THE QUEENS ARMS AND THE
THIRD ONE SAID NO LETS CALL IT THE QUEENS LEGS SO THEY SAID YEA THEN A POLICE
MAN COME ALONG AND SAID EXUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING AND THEY REPLYED WE ARE JUST
WAITING FOR THE QUEENS LEGS TO OPEN UP TO GET A DRINK.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():sex jokes (1888): Mr. Perkins, the anatomy instructor |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by snickers13107 on 10-Aug-2005 | Mr. Perkins, the anatomy instructorMr. Perkins, the anatomy instructor at a posh suburban girl??™s college, said
during class, "Miss Smyth, would you please name the organ of the human body,
which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size,
and define the conditions."
Miss Smyth gasped, and then said coldly, "Mr. Perkins, I don't think that is a
proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this." With
that, she sat down red faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Summers and asked the same question.
Miss Summers, with composure, replied. "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr., Perkins. "And now, Miss Smyth, I have three things to say
to you.
One, you have not studied your lesson.
Two, you have a dirt mind...and
Three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():sex jokes (1888): One day a boy decides to get a Harley |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Kenan A on 10-Aug-2005 | One day a boy decides to get a HarleyOne day a boy decides to get a harley. he didn't want the chrome to get rusted
so he bought some vast line. he fell in love with a woman and she invited him
for dinner at her parent??™s house. so he picked her up and before they went in
she told him that there is a family tradition. the first one to speak after
dinner has to do the dishes. so after dinner everyone sits in silence. the boy
had to do something so he reached over and kissed the woman. that didn't work so
he threw her on the table and had passionate sex. since he saw that didn't work,
he took her mother threw her on the table and had more passionate, wilder sex.
he saw that wasn't working. he heard thunder in the distance and thought about
the chrome. so he pulled out the vaseline. the woman's father said, "alright,
damn it. i'll do the f****** dishes!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():sex jokes (1888): This was in the Washington Post |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by William A. Jones on 10-Aug-2005 | This was in the Washington PostThis was in the Washington Post ... the title of the article was "Best Come
Back Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22-year-old
white male resident of Dracula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency,
and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect
explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know,
a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for
miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out
a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "Guess I was just really into it, you
know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence
apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was
unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an
unusual situation that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to
(Lawrence) and he's... just working away at this bumpkin." Taylor went on to
describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said,
'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze
and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in
the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
