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():love jokes (2491): A man who forgets his wife's birthday |
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| Posted by Deliliah L. Cutting on 10-Aug-2005 | A man who forgets his wife's birthdayA man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember
her by.
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():love jokes (2491): I'm suffering from bad breath |
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| Posted by math jokes on 10-Aug-2005 | I'm suffering from bad breathI'm suffering from bad breath
you should do something about it!
I did.
I just sent my wife to the dentist.
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| Posted by C Heath Ratliff on 10-Aug-2005 | Mr. Jones and Mr. SmithMr. Jones: I hate to tell you, but your wife just fell in the wishing well.
Mr. Smith: So it works!
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| Posted by Shannon H. Holiskey on 10-Aug-2005 | Woman an ManWoman: If you were my husband I'd poison your coffee.
Man: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
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| Posted by Melinda s. Nowlin on 10-Aug-2005 | Meeting the FamilyA girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her
parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend
that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip
to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an
hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to
buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack
because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent??™s house and meets his
girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on
in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's
parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. Ten
minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with
his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had
no idea you were this religious???.
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist."
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| Posted by Kevin T. Cargill on 10-Aug-2005 | A bachelorA bachelor named Steve who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a
trip to Europe. Before he left, he told his best friend to inform him of any
emergencies. A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof,
fell off, and was killed. His friend immediately wired him with the message:
"Your cat died!"
In a few hours, Steve was back home, having cut his trip short in grief and in
anger at his friend. He told his friend, "Why didn't you break the news to me
gradually? You know how close I was to my cat! You could have sent the message
'Your cat climbed up on the roof today,' and the next day you could've written
'Your cat fell off the roof' and let me down slowly that he died."
After a quick memorial service, the bachelor left again to continue his trip.
A few days into his trip, he returns to his hotel and there's a message waiting
for him from his friend.
The message read, "Your mother climbed up on the roof today???.
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