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| Posted by Saber X on 10-Aug-2005 | A man's desiresWhen I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big tits.
In high school, I dated a girl with big tits, but there was no passion.
So I decided I needed a passionate girl.
In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a
girl with some stability.
I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about
anything.
So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one
thing to another, never settling on anything. She was directionless. So I
decided to find a girl with some ambition.
After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her.
She was so ambitious; she divorced me and took everything I owned.
Now all I want is a girl with big tits.
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| Posted by Danette J. Adkins on 10-Aug-2005 | Blame the dogA guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has
to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really
needs to relieve some pressure.
Then, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can
let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did
it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "spot, get down from there???.
The guy thinks, "great, they think the dog did it???. He releases another fart,
and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
this goes on for a couple more farts.
Finally the woman yells, "dammit spot, get down before he s**** on you???.
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| Posted by I'm Angel on 10-Aug-2005 | Adam and godSo God calls to Adam and says, "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news.
What do you want to hear first?"
Adam replies, "The good news???.
God answers, "Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain."
Then Adam says, "OK, so what's the bad news?"
And God says, "I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time???.
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| Posted by catherine chsksi on 10-Aug-2005 | Come judgment dayEverybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. The Lord comes and says, "I want
the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on
earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I
want all the women to go with St Peter."
Said and done, the next time The Lord looked the women are gone and there are
two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles
long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
The Lord got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created
you in my image and your mates whipped you all. Look at the only one of my sons
that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you
manage to be the only one in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here".
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| Posted by Kayla on 10-Aug-2005 | 10 things about pHs1.Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says,
'How's my driving? Call 1 800 ****"**.'
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
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| Posted by steven Burgess on 10-Aug-2005 | Set it freeIf you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But... if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your
food, uses your telephone, takes your money and doesn't appear to realize that
you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth
to it.
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