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| Posted by BRITTANY on 14-Aug-2005 | A Mouth Full* As twins were getting married, on the same day, they couldn't
find a place for their hunny moon. So they asked their mom
where they should go. The mom said they should stay at her
house for a few days. SO, the first night went by and the mom
went up to the doors and said to the first girl, "hunny are you
in there?" The gurl replied, "Yes!" The mom went to the second
grls door and said, "Hunny are you in there?" She replied "OOH
YESS!" So the next night she went to the rooms and said to the
first grl "Hunny are you in there?" She replied "OH YES OH YES"
The mom went to the second grl and said "HUNNY are you in
there?" There was no answer and so the mom asked in the
morning.. "Why didn't you answer me last night?" The grl
replied, "Mom, you told me never to talk w/ my mouth full!"
HaHa* Rate My Joke!*
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| Posted by frank on 14-Aug-2005 | what happened?A man decides that he wants to become king of the world so he
goes to the wise man of their village. He asks the wise man "how
do i become the king of the world"? The wise man answers "if you
have sex with an eskimo and kill a polar bear then I will make
you king once you have come back". So the man goes out to try to
complete the task. Three weeks have passed and finally he comes
back. The wise man has never seen somebody such a mess he was
all bloody and cuts and bruises all over him. The wise man asks
"what happened to you"? He repplies "I did just what you told
me. I killed the eskimo and...
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():sex jokes (1888): The Poor Man Who Slept Like A Rabbit |
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| Posted by Skateboard Freak on 14-Aug-2005 | The Poor Man Who Slept Like A RabbitThere once was a poor man walking down the freeway when a farmer
had saw him. The poor man asked the farmer could he stay for the
night and the farmer agreed and told him he could stay in his
daughter's room. The farmer had asked the man not to touch his 3
daughters and the man said, " I will sleep like a rabbit during
the night". The next morning the poor man was on his way and the
farmer asked him how did he sleep and the poor man said he slept
like a rabbit. The farmer was so proud of his daughters that he
told another farmer about the poor man and how he slept like a
rabbit.
The other farmer said, " Goddamnit he got my daughters and me
the same way because rabbit's don't sleep, they go from hole to
hole during the night"
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| Posted by Mike Ashworth on 14-Aug-2005 | joke1.A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and
she enjoys showing off her new look. She goes to the newsstand
and asks the man, ''Sir, how old do you think I am''? The man
replies ''You're 30, right?'' She says ''No, I'm 47, but nice
try.'' The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her
lunch and asks the young man at the counter, ''How old do you
think I am?'' The man replies, ''You're 37, right?'' The lady
says ''No, I'm 47, but good guess.'' After lunch, she gets on
the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He
replies ''Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my
hand down her panties.'' So, quietly and quickly, she lets him
do so. He thinks a moment and announces, ''You're 47!'' The
lady, astonished, asks, ''How did you know?'' The old man
replies ''I was standing right behind you at McDonald's.''
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| Posted by Destined_Soul on 14-Aug-2005 | It's No FairA husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks
at her husband and winks at him. He gets the message and says,
"Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room
for a little while."
Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and
sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a
few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes
him up to peek into the bedroom. "Before you look in there," he
says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts
just for sucking our thumbs."
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| Posted by Brynn Barraclough on 14-Aug-2005 | The CoffinThis guy died with an erection. It was to big for the mortician to put him
in a coffin, so the wife told the mortician to cut it off and shove it up
his ass. The next day at the funeral the wife saw a tear in her dead
husband's eye. She bent over and said, "I told you it hurts you fucking
bastard."
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