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| Posted by Kathryn Ellis on 13-Aug-2005 | A night out with DaveDave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey Dave, how ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Dave. 'He's on my bowling team.'
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, 'You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'
'No honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. 'Hi Davey,' she says, 'Want your usual table dance?'
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.
The cabby turns his head and says, 'Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.'
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| Posted by Misty Jenkins on 13-Aug-2005 | A special dayOver breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
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| Posted by Christina on 13-Aug-2005 | Adam and Eve's first timeAfter a few days on the new Earth, the Lord called to Adam and said, ''It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her.'' Adam answered, ''Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?''
The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, ''Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable.''
And the Lord replied, ''Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that. Now, I'd like you to caress Eve.'' And Adam said, ''What is a 'caress'?'' So, the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, ''Lord, that was even better than the kiss.''
And the Lord said, ''You've done well Adam. And now, I want you to make love to Eve.'' And Adam asked, ''What is 'make love', Lord?'' So, the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he re-appeared in two seconds. And Adam said, ''Lord, what is a 'headache'?''
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| Posted by Ricky THE MAN on 10-Aug-2005 | sorority girl and a bowling ball?What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke.
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