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| Posted by Aaron R. Whittington on 10-Aug-2005 | A Nun's ConfessionA nun went to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear a confession. 'Mother,
today I experienced the pleasures of the flesh. Father Saunders came to me and
told me I had the gates to Heaven between my legs. He then told me he had the
key to Heaven and put it in the gates.''Why that lying!' the Mother Superior
screamed. 'For years he has toldme it was Gabriel's trumpet and I've been
blowing it!'
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| Posted by Wreckd on 10-Aug-2005 | A Boy's Prayer:Lord,
I pray for a girl with big tits.
Amen.
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| Posted by Katelyn C. Keegan on 10-Aug-2005 | A Girl's PrayerA Girls Prayer
Lord
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong, One who's willy's thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
When promises to call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, wont be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! send me a man who will make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say, when I ask 'How big's my behind?'
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin,
In the hall, the loo, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempts to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead.
Amen.
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| Posted by Justin H on 10-Aug-2005 | A night outTwo women go out one night without their husbands. As they came back, right
before dawn, both of them drunk, They felt the urge to pee. They noticed the
only place to stop was a cemetery.
Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway. The first one
did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her pants and used
them to clean herself and discarded them.
The second not finding anything either, thought 'I'm not getting rid of my
pants...' so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself.
The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone,
and one says to the other: 'We have to be on the lookout, it seems that these
two were up to no Good last night, my wife came home without her pants...'.
The other one responded: 'You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to
her ass that read, 'We will never forget you!'
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| Posted by Rick Madole on 10-Aug-2005 | Driven WildThree guys are sitting in a bar having a few drinks together. One guy says,
'So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?''Well,' says the second
guy, 'After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take
the petals off and sprinkle them all over her body. Then I blow them off with a
soft breath that drives her wild.' Next guy says, 'After making love, I get some
baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!'Last
guy says, 'When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my
cock on the curtain. Drives her nuts!'
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| Posted by Samantha A. S on 10-Aug-2005 | Hotel PricesA husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost
twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to
stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan
to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four
hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for 350. The man explodes and
demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a
nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth 350. When the clerk tells him 350
is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager. The manager
appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-
sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and
wife to use.
'But we didn't use them', the man complains.
'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to
explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.
'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the
Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again. Well, we
have them, and you could have', the Manager replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't
use it!'
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He
writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he
looks at the check. But sir,' he says, 'this check is only made out for 100.'
'That's right,' says the man. 'I charged you 250 for sleeping with my wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well,' the man replies, 'she was here, and you could have'
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