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():sex jokes (1888): A parrot and his owners wife |
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| Posted by jen on 11-Aug-2005 | A parrot and his owners wifeOne day this man named John was in a pet store and as he was looking he saw a parrot sitting on a perch, but the parrot did not have any legs, so John asked the bird how do you hold yourself up on the perch, and the bird said are you sure you want to knpw, and the man shook his head yes. And the bird said I just take my meat and I wrap it around the perch. So they started to talk more and more, and the bird said why don't you buy me? And John looked at the price tag it said $200 the man said that is too much but John went to the salesclerk and asked if he could get him cheaper and the sales clerk said yes. So the man bought the bird and took him home, and everything was going great. THe bird was very intelligent and funny, and everday John and the bird would talk about their days, well one day John came home and aske dthe bird how his day was, and the bird said well this morning when the mailman came him and your wife started to tounge kiss, and then he started grabing your wifes breast and ass, and John said what else happened and the bird said damned if I know I got hard and fell off my perch!
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| Posted by Pat Kingsley on 11-Aug-2005 | ConfusionWhats the defintion of confusion?
20 blind lesbians at a fish market.
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| Posted by Wookie M. Geiger on 11-Aug-2005 | Fuck the chickenThere was this little kid and he was watching his mother put on makeup. She messed up and said shit. The little boy asked his mother "what does shit mean?" She told him it was another word for makeup.
So then he went into his teenage sister Tina's room and she was talking on the phone about condoms. The little boy asked her what a condom was and she told him "its another word for clothes."
The little boy then went into the kitchen where is father was cutting a chicken. His father cut himself and said fuck. The little boy asked what fuck meant and his father told him it was another word for cutting.
The dorrbell rang and the little boy answered the door. It was his grandmother and she asked where everyone was. The little boy said "Mommy is upstairs putting shit on her face,Tina is putting condoms on, and daddy is fucking the chicken."
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| Posted by Devil of Heaven alright not funny but I'm a great critic on 11-Aug-2005 | The dickA man walking aroud town talking about hea pimp he gonehit you fromthe back front and every way in the book a hoe name amen say me at my house tonight she look at his dick and say nigga please that mini hoydog ant shit you haveto have some thing and round for me
thats what yall can sat to lil dick man.
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| Posted by Tiki Tiki Bird on 11-Aug-2005 | Don`t have a dumb nameOnce there was a little boy name Jonny Humpharder. There was a little girl that lived down the street, and her mother always told her not to go his Jonny' house or yard. So one day Johnny asks the little girl to come in his yard to play she says, "my mom said I can't." Then he says I'll give you a cookie she says ok. Then he says let go in my house she says my mom says I can't he says I'll give you TWO cookies she says ok. Then he says to her let's go in my room she says my mom said I can't he says I'll give you THREE cookies she says ok. Then Jonny's mom comes home and says, "Jonny Humpharder, Johnny Humpharder," he says "I AM, I AM." The end (I hope you think it was funny because I do)
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():sex jokes (1888): Without Viagra this can happen! |
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| Posted by Joe on 11-Aug-2005 | Without Viagra this can happen!A 70 year old woman went to the doctor for a check up.
The doctor told her she needed more activity & recommended sex three times a week.
She said to the doctor , "Please, tell to my husband".
The doctor goes out in the waiting room & tells the husband that his wife needs to have sex three times a week.
The 70 year old husband replies, " Which days ?"
The doctor says, " How about Monday ,Wednesday and Friday."
The husband says, " I can bring her Monday & Wednesday, but on friday she'll have to take the bus.
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