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| Posted by vanessa m. montes on 14-Aug-2005 | A penny for your thoughtsOne night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arms around her husband.
"A penny for your thoughts." she whispered in his ear.
"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50!"
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| Posted by Ashley on 14-Aug-2005 | Be ReasonableSometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth."
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs," said Eve.
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| Posted by johnny g on 14-Aug-2005 | The Perfect StoryThere was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toyc. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
Who was the survivor?
(scroll down for the answer).
(scroll down for the answer).
(scroll down for the answer).
(scroll down for the answer).
The perfect woman.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and no such thing as a perfect man.
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| Posted by Oliver P. Burton on 14-Aug-2005 | Sad StoryBill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken, and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim and Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights,Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way."
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing.
At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
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| Posted by Meghan LaLonde on 14-Aug-2005 | Men's BrainA man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said, "well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out front and a young couple was killed and you can have whichever brain you'd like. The man's brain costs $100,000.00 and the woman's brain costs $30,000.00".
The patient could not help but ask, "Why such a large difference between the male and female brain?"
The doctor replied, "The female brain is used".
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| Posted by danny on 14-Aug-2005 | Women ShortsWhy is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
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Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
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Why are hangovers better than women?
Hangovers will go away.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men ?
So they can stand closer to the sink
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How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
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I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
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Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
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One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!"
The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
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What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
1.No mind.
2.No business.
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The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said, "Dust!"
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Why do women like intelligent men?
Opposites attract.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women's sex drive by 90 percent....
Wedding cake!!!
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