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| Posted by oncojoon on 09-Aug-2005 | A real fishermanA fisherman is sorting through his catch on the edge of a lake, when a man sprints up to him, clearly in distress. ???Help me, please,??? he gasps. ???My wife is drowning and I can??™t swim.???
He points to a distant figure splashing and struggling out at sea. ???Please save her,??? the man cries. ???I??™ll give you $100 if you do.???
Nodding, the fisherman dives into the water.
He swims out to the woman, grabs her and heads back to shore. Depositing the woman at the man??™s feet, he says, ???Here you go. Where??™s my $100????
The man frowns at him. ???Look,??? he says, ???when I saw her bobbing from afar, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.???
The fisherman reaches into his pocket. ???Just my luck,??? he says. ???How much do I owe you????
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by gypsygirl on 09-Aug-2005 | DreamsAfter waking up in the morning, a woman tells her husband, "I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace.
What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight," the husband says with a smile.
The woman can hardly think of anything else all day, and she waits in anticipation for her husband to come home.
That evening, the man walks through the door carrying a small package.
Elated, the wife tears into the wrapping . . . and uncovers a book titled "The Meaning of Dreams".
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by a b. c on 09-Aug-2005 | Why women don't fartDid you know why single women don't fart?
Because they don't have assholes until they get married.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Nicole disclosed information on 09-Aug-2005 | HungWhen the airline captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake City, Utah, a woman told the man sitting beside her, "I understand this is the home of the Mormon religion where men believe it's OK to have more than one wife."
"That's true," he replied, "As a matter of fact I happen to be a Mormon myself and have nine wives."
"How disgusting," she said," You should be ashamed of yourself. Such practices should be against the law and you ought to be hung."
With a slight grin, he just said, "Yes, ma'am, I am."
Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Lioness Mage on 09-Aug-2005 | He could flyOne night, an 87 year old woman came home from bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and pushed her husband off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, the fall killed him instantly.
Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say.
"Your honor," she began, "I figured that at 92, if he could screw, then he could definately fly!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Rachael n. Everson on 09-Aug-2005 | Season ticketsA woman is watching the news.
During a commercial she turns to her husband, who is busy with a crossword puzzle.
???Did you hear that???? she asks.
???A man in Los Angeles swapped his wife for Lakers??™ season tickets. Would you do a thing like that????
???Well no,??? her husband replies. ???The season??™s half over.???
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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