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():dirty jokes (1575): A really conceited guy is screwing a really...


Posted by Val Sweetie on 07-Aug-2005

A really conceited guy is screwing a really...

A really conceited guy is screwing a really conceited chick.

"Tight, aren't I?" says the chick.

"No," says the guy, "Just full!"

   

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():dirty jokes (1575): A man goes to a tattoo artist and says: "I'd...


Posted by ironman kingofcaerau on 07-Aug-2005

A man goes to a tattoo artist and says: "I'd...

A man goes to a tattoo artist and says: "I'd like you to tattoo a one-hundred dollar bill onto my dick."

The tattoo artist is surprised: "Well, that could hurt a lot! Why would you want a 100 dollar bill on your dick?"

The man answers, "Three reasons:

  1. I like to watch my money grow,
  2. I like to play with my money, and
  3. next time my wife wants to blow a-hundred bucks she won't have to leave the house!"

   

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():dirty jokes (1575): Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?...


Posted by haley r. kopcho on 07-Aug-2005

Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?...

Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
- To find a tight seal!

   

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():dirty jokes (1575): Dirty Ernie goes to school. His first class...


Posted by Jon Meister on 07-Aug-2005

Dirty Ernie goes to school. His first class...

Dirty Ernie goes to school. His first class is English, and the teacher wants the kids to say what they ate for breakfast and spell it.

The first girl says "toast t o a s t."

The second boy says "eggs e g g s."

Dirty Ernie says "fuckin nothing f u c k i n g n o t h i n g."

The teacher stands him in the corner till lunch.

After lunch Dirty Ernie is allowed to take his seat. The first class after lunch is geography. The teacher wants to know where the Polish border lies.

Dirty Ernie shoots up his hand and says, "He's at home on top of my mom. That's why I got fucking nothing for breakfast!"

   

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():dirty jokes (1575): Little Catherine had justed turned five, so...


Posted by Kit Cloudkicker on 07-Aug-2005
Little Catherine had justed turned five, so...
Little Catherine had justed turned five, so her mother decided to learn her about the facts of life. So one day Catherine asked how babies were made. Her mother then said that to make babies Catherine's father must first place his penis in Catherine's mother's vagina.

"Oh," said Catherine, "last night as I went to the bathroom you had daddy's penis in your mouth. Did you make any babies that way?"

"No," answered her mother, "that's how mommy gets her jewelry....."

   

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():dirty jokes (1575): My friend Jim is a pretty wild and crazy...


Posted by Yo Momma on 07-Aug-2005
My friend Jim is a pretty wild and crazy...
My friend Jim is a pretty wild and crazy guy who sometimes gets bored and has to dream up new and exiting ways to get his kicks.

One afternoon, Jim put a frog in his shirt pocket and walked into a local drinking establishment. The cocktail waitress came over and asked him what he would like to drink. After taking his order, the waitress said, "Hey, what's with the frog in your pocket?"

Jim said, "Oh, the frog eats pussy."

The waitress just smiled and got Jim his drink. About 15 minutes later, the waitress came over and asked Jim if she could borrow his frog for a while. Jim said sure, and the waitress hurried off to the back room with the frog. A half hour or so passed, and Jim figured he better go check up on his frog. He walked into the back room to find the waitress lying down on a table in the appropriate position, with the frog in the appropriate place, and everything else quite appropriate (use your imagination).

The waitress said, "Hey mister, this frog doesn't do anything."

Jim said, "Get out of the way frog, now this is the last time I am going to show you how to do this."

   

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