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| Posted by Erik Ingbritsen on 09-Aug-2005 | A Rose By Any NameThere was a man who had memory loss. His wife got so fed up with him that she decided to take him to a doctor to help him remember things.
A few weeks later the man was out of the hospital and his wife felt he had made a big improvement.
A few days later they decided to celebrate so they invited their parents over for dinner. The man's father asked what the doctor's name was.
The man replied, "What's the name of that flower with a long stem and little thorns on it?"
His dad looked confused and said, "Rose?"
"Yes that's it... Hey, Rose... what??™s the name of my doctor?"
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| Posted by Erika on 09-Aug-2005 | Cheating On UsGary matched Dan, drink for drink, trying to get him to talk about what was bothering him.
Gentle prodding was ignored until after downing his ninth, Dan blurted out, "OK, it's your wife."
"My wife?" his friend demanded. "What about my wife?"
"I think she's cheating on us."
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| Posted by Beth A. Harris on 09-Aug-2005 | Bring My WifeThe married business executive had to make a trip to Palm Beach alone for his corporation.
After a few days he was enjoying himself so much that he decided to stay another week as part of his vacation.
Wanting to share this newly discovered paradise, he wired his bachelor friend: "Take next plane for fun week on me. Bring my wife and your mistress."
His friend was quick to wire back: "Your wife and I arriving tomorrow 11.30 a.m. How long have you known about us?
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| Posted by Blitz Krieg on 09-Aug-2005 | Sex SurveyThe research worker, conducting a sex survey, phoned one of the husbands whose completed form was spread out before him.
"Mr Pullman, there seems to be some discrepancies between the answers of you and your wife to the same question. For example, under 'Frequency of Intercourse you wrote 'Three times a week and your wife 'Three times a night."
"Well, that's right," replied the husband, "but that's only until we have paid off the mortgage on the house."
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| Posted by Kenny Ross on 09-Aug-2005 | Genie In A LampA man is walking down a beach during sunset when he stumbles across a lamp. Picking it up he says to himself, "I wonder if it's magic. I think I'll rub it and find out."
Well sure enough this man rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says to the man, "I'm your genie and I am at your command. I shall grant you three wishes on one condition. Everything you wish for, your wife gets double."
Well the man thought about it and finally blurted out, "Give me a million dollars." So the genie gave him a million dollars and his wife two million while reminding him of the "one condition".
Next the man said, " I'd like a house on the east coast and a house on the west coast." So the genie gave him his two houses and his wife four houses.
Finally the genie said, "You have one wish remaining but remember, your wife gets double."
So the man thought for nearly an hour about his final wish. Looking up at the genie hovering over the sand he said with a sly grin on his face, "Ok Genie, I want you to beat me half to death."
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| Posted by Evan Lemoine on 09-Aug-2005 | Aid's or Alzheimer'sA doctor called up a fellow and said, "Mr. Michaels I have some distressing news. As you know, your wife was in for some blood tests recently."
The guy says, "Yes, that's right. Is there anything wrong?"
"Well," the doctor replies, "here's the thing. There's another women who came in for blood tests also and she has the exact same name as your wife.
Now, the problem is, I got the results of their tests and one of them has aids and the other has Alzheimer??™s."
"Oh, my God," the man said, "what will I do, doc?"
"Well, I've been giving this some thought," said the doctor, "and here's what you do. Take her for a ride out in the country. When you get way out there, throw her out of the car and take off fast.
"Then what?" says the distraught man.
"Well...if she finds her way home, whatever you do, DON'T FUCK HER!"
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