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| Posted by Philip Jennings on 10-Aug-2005 | A rural coupleA rural couple had made sacrifices to save money to send their only son to
college. Once there, he began to grown long sideburns, a mustache, and a goatee.
When his facial hair was luxurious enough to satisfy him, he had his photograph
taken and mailed it home with a note that read: "Fascinating, no? Don't I
perhaps look like a count?"
"You idiot!" His father wrote back. "Here we are spending a fortune on your
education and you can't even SPELL!"
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| Posted by Brian M. Lowsley on 10-Aug-2005 | Two brothersTwo brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the
inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed
incredibly long, oversized penises.
"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.
"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for
your elongated penises?"
"No sir, our mother."
"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit???, but she only had one arm, and when it
came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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| Posted by Ligia Albeanu on 10-Aug-2005 | An Italian familyAn italian family was sitting at the dinner table when the father asks his
oldest son tony! "why are you such a fat f***?"
the son replies: "pops, it's mom's pasta! i can't stop eating it." the father
says: "you should take smaller bites! it will make you trim."
then the father asks the second son: "anthony! why are you such a fat f***?"
the son replies: "pops, it's mom's pizza! i can't stop eating it it's so
good!"
papa says: "you should also take smaller bites. ask your other brother angelo
how he stays trim."
angelo replies: "it's easy! i eat lots of pussy."
to which the father replies: "pussy? pussy tastes like s***!"
to which angelo replies: "you pops! you should take smaller bites!"
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| Posted by Ward Duncan on 10-Aug-2005 | A fishermanStanding at the edge of the lake, a fisherman saw a woman flailing about in
the deep water. Another man was standing on the shore screaming for help.
The fisherman ran over to the man. "Help!" the other man started, "I can't
swim! My wife's drowning! I'll give you $1000 if you save her!"
The fisherman jumps in the water, swims powerfully out to the drowning woman,
puts his arm around her, and swims back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of
the man, the fisherman coughs up water, then says, "[cough] ok, bud, where's my
'grand'?"
"But, this is my *mother-in-law*!"
The fisherman reaches into his pocket with a frown and says, "Just my luck.
Ok, how much do I owe you?"
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| Posted by julian t. mansfield on 10-Aug-2005 | A small boy was lostA small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my
dad!"
The cop said, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"
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():love jokes (2491): The wife cheating her Husband |
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| Posted by Troy Bynoe on 10-Aug-2005 | The wife cheating her HusbandThere was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful blonde
teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always
wanted.
After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and, sure enough, nine months
later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to
see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he
had ever seen.
He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of
that child.
"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." Then he gave her a stern
look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time???.
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