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| Posted by Canice J. Leung on 14-Aug-2005 | Baby BearIt is the start of spring and baby bear emerges from his cave
looking a wreck. He's skin and bones; his body is shaking; his
legs can barely support him and his eyes have huge bags
underneath them.
Seeing him, mother bear asks: "What happened, baby bear? Didn't
you hibernate like I told you to?"
To which baby bear replies: "Hibernate?! Shit! I thought you
said masturbate!"
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| Posted by Krusty Dancer on 14-Aug-2005 | Monkey Fucks Rinoa monkey is happily swinging through the jungle when all of a
sudden he becomes very very horny.....
he continues to swing aimlessly through the jungle with a
monster hard on and gagging for a ride.. the further he swings
the hornier he gets looking for anything to relieve his load....
All of a sudden the monkey spots a rino eating some grass....
the monkey swiftly swings down and fires one into the
rino....boom....
The rino looks up in an almighty rage and starts chasing the
monkey miles and miles through the forest the monkey covers with
the rino hot on his heels...
the monkey spots a human hunter all dressed up in the english
style hunting gear reading a USA Today...the monkey swiftly
dives ontop of the hunter and beats him up removes his clothing
puts on the clothing and sits reading the USA Today.....
The rino approaches the monkey dressed up as a hunter and says
"excuse me sir but have you seen a monkey swing passed here
recently....the monkey replies from under his disguise " is that
the monkey that fucked the rino......the rino answers with a
sigh "oh its not made the paper already".....the end
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Sean Wicklund on 12-Aug-2005 | CoupleThere's this couple and they've been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she won't sleep with him because she's saving herself for marriage. As they were kissing, and doing their thing, he's very hot and bothered, and he said, "Oh come on, just a feel."
She said, "No, I'm saving myself for marriage."
They went back and forth. He said, "Just one feel, I promise, that's all, just one feel."
She finally agreed, "Okay, just one feel, but that's all, just one, I'm saving myself for marriage."
So he puts his hand down her panties and takes a little feel. Things are getting a lot warmer and he asks, "Can't we please?"
She of course states, "NO, I'm saving myself for marriage."
He says, "Please, please?" and she says, "No, absolutely not, I'm saving myself for marriage."
He says, "How about if I agree to only just put the tip in?"
She says, "No way, I'm saving myself for marriage."
He begs and pleads with her, "I promise, just the tip, no more,and we'll stop after that."
She finally gives in, "Okay, but just the tip, no more, and that's all."
He says okay and pulls down her panties and puts the tip in... he's so hot and ready that he can't control himself shoves it the whole way in and starts going to town... she meanwhile is moaning and groaning and shouts, "OKAY, GO AHEAD, PUT IT THE WHOLE WAY IN!"
A little stunned, he says, "NO, absolutely not, a deals a deal!"
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| Posted by hottsk8er on 14-Aug-2005 | Johnny HumperThere once was a little boy named Johnny Humper.
One day a girl he liked came over. And they started making out.
He took off her shirt (viza versa) until they both were
undressed.
He layed ontop of her and thrusted it in her.
Johnny's parents walk in and say, "JOHNNY HUMPER!"
He looks up and says, "I can't do it any harder I am trying!"
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| Posted by HotDani19 on 12-Aug-2005 | Doctor DoctorOne day a man walked into a doctors office and said doctor you have to help me I feel terrible.
Whats the matter repied the doctor.
I broke my wifes virginity.
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by William Menzen on 14-Aug-2005 | 18 Holes!!!There were three guys who needed somewhere to sleep. There was a
barn full of chickes, a barn full of cows, and a bran full of 18
naked women. The first guy slept with the chickens the next wiht
the cows and then the next with the 18 naked women. The next
morning the first guy came out with chicken feathers all over
him and said, "I feel like a chicken." The second came out with
cow shit all over him and said, "I feel like a cow." The third
came out and said, "I feel like a golf ball, I went through 18
holes in one night."
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