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| Posted by Koolgirl Skittlehead on 11-Aug-2005 | Be careful what you wish forThere was A blond coyboy was in a dessert and he was riding a camel. After his camel died the man decided to walk on...... after a few hours the man collapsed, the only thing he saw was something sticking out of the ground he went to it. it was a breif case the man opened it and out poped a ginnie and it was a girl and she looked like a floating reporter she said bla bla while looking through the rule book. she said "i am your ginnie you have 3 wishes" and the man said ok my first wish will be to have food and water all over. poof !!! every where he looked he was surrounded by food and water. the ginnie came again she said wht is your second wish the man said i wish to be the richest man in the world. POOF!!! there was pots of gold every where he looked. the ginnie soon returned and said what is your final wish its your last for ever and you had better make it a good one. he said ok i wish every where i go beautiful young women woulg want and need me. POOF!!! she turned him into a tampon!
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| Posted by Poopfroggyman on 11-Aug-2005 | Small feetQ: Why do women have small feet?
A: To get closer to the sink.
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| Posted by Pete Makiha on 11-Aug-2005 | ElevatorThis guy's in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, "Ballroom please." A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."
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| Posted by Alex Dobie on 13-Aug-2005 | If Dear Abby was a ManDear Abby:
Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at car-boot sales. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband goes straight to sleep after making love - we have no time to talk.
A: Sex is an extremely difficult task for a man. Afterwards he needs rest. In fact, the more he loves you, the more hard work his lovemaking is, and the more rest he needs. Stop putting pressure on him. Buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband's efforts at lovemaking only last 30 seconds.
A: Your husband loves you very much. He is so turned on by you that he cannot control himself. In fact, the shorter the 'effort' the more he loves you. Return this love by buying a nice, expensive present, and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal. Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present ..and don't forget to cook him a delicious meal.
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