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| Posted by Rhonda A. Arnold on 09-Aug-2005 | Breast milkLeonard desperately wanted to become a doctor and had really crammed for his medical boards, so he wasn't in the least fazed by the question:
"Name the three advantages of breast milk."
Quickly he wrote:
1. It contains the optimum balance of nutrients for the newborn child.
2. As it is contained within the mother's body, it is protected from germs and helps develop the child's immune system.
Then Leonard was stumped. Sitting back and racking his brain until he'd broken into a sweat, he finally scribbled:
3. It comes in such nice containers.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by BILLY B. PLOTTER on 09-Aug-2005 | Twice a dayThis guy goes into a doctors and says, "Doctor, doctor you've gotta help me. I just can't stop having sex!"
"Well how often do you have it?" the doctor asks.
"Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day," he answers back.
"That's not so much," says the doctor.
"Yes, but that's not all. Twice a day I have sex with my secretary, TWICE a day," replies the man.
"Well that is probably a bit excessive," says the doctor.
"Yes, but that's not all. Twice a day I have sex with a prostitute, TWICE a day," says the man.
"Well, that's definitely too much," says the doctor. "You've got to learn to take yourself in hand."
"I do," says the man. "Twice a day!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Erika on 09-Aug-2005 | Don't belongWhich of these three don't belong?
A Green Bean
A Soy Bean
A Vibrator
The Green Bean. The other two are meat substitutes.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Nick J. M on 09-Aug-2005 | RobbedA farmer and his daughter were coming back from town with their money from some sales and a large sack of flour when all of a sudden these highway men held them up and robbed them of everything.
A few minutes later the farmer exclaims, "We're ruined, all the money's gone and there's no flour for bread!"
His daughter says, "No, papa, I hid the money in my you-know-what."
The farmer said, "You're a good girl, but if your mamma was here -
she could have saved the sack of flour as well!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by muhamed kovacevic on 09-Aug-2005 | InternsA cute little nurse is walking along a hospital corridor with one of her breasts exposed.
The staff nurse spots her and berates her for her conduct.
The nurse shakes her head sadly and says. "Those damn interns never put anything away when they are through with it ."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Nick R. Fletcher on 09-Aug-2005 | No feeA man suspected his young wife of being too friendly with another man, so he hired a famous Chinese detective, Won Lo Pan, to watch and report any activities that might develop.
A few days later he received this report: Honorable Sir, You leave house.
I watch house.
He come to house I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she get off train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree, look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree.
No see. No fee.
Thank you. Won Lo Pan
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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