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| Posted by super p. man on 09-Aug-2005 | Camel rideA captain in the foreign legion is transferred to a desert outpost where he notices an old, seedy looking camel at the back of the barracks.
He asks his sergeant what it is for.
"Well, sir, we're a fair distance from anywhere and the men have natural sexual urges. When they do, they use the camel."
"Gosh," says the captain, "Well if it's good for morale, it's fine by me."
The captain soon becomes frustrated himself and finally tells the sergeant to bring him the camel.
The sergeant shrugs his shoulders and brings the camel to the captain's quarters.
The captain gets a foot stool and begins to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he steps down, satisfied, he asks the sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The sergeant replies, "Well no, sir, usually they just ride the camel to the nearest brothel."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by J Harry on 09-Aug-2005 | Chicken or the eggA chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Ray Lundell on 09-Aug-2005 | Sex problemA bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex problem, doc."
"Well," says the quack, "Tell me about your average day."
"Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 AM for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work."
"Oh, I see," says the doc.
"No, hang on," said the young man, "you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there."
"Oh...now I see," said the quack.
"No, no you don't," said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom."
"Oh, now I see," said the quack.
"No, no, no," said the randy old bugger. "When I go to lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie."
"Now I understand," said the patient doctor.
"No, hang on," said the bloke. "When I get back to the office in the afternoon, my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack."
"Ahhh...." said the doctor, "Now I see.."
"No, there's more," said our man. "When I get home my wife is so pleased to see me that she give me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards."
"Just what is your problem?," asked the doc.
"Well...." said our hero, "It hurts when I wank!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by curtis and yisman
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| Posted by Sexy Chicana on 09-Aug-2005 | What kind of womanA guy stops to talk to a beautiful woman standing alone by a bus stop.
"Hello, I must say, you are about the most beautiful woman I have ever met."
"Thank you very much," replied the woman.
The guy quickly follows up, "I was wondering if you'd sleep with me for a million dollars?"
"A million dollars!" the girl responds.
She thinks for a moment and answers, "Yes, I would sleep with you for a million dollars."
"How about five bucks?" asks the guy.
"Five bucks!? What kind of woman do you think I am?"
"We've already determined that," he replies. "Now we are just haggling over the price."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Lauren R. Zachareas on 09-Aug-2005 | Playing magicA guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, ???Want to play Magic????
She says, ???What??™s that????
He says, ???We go to my house and screw, and then you disappear.???
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by Kyle Burns on 09-Aug-2005 | Biggest she's seenA man and his wife both come home looking glum..
"What's up with you" he says...
"Never mind me, what's up with you?" she replies
"Well ...I've been made redundant".
"Oh my god!..... so have I" she says. "What WILL we do?.. we've just taken on this HUGE mortgage!"
"Well...there's only one thing for it... you'll have to go on the streets until we get work" says he.
"But I've never been a prostitute...how will I know what to do?" she moans.
"Don't worry" he says, "I'll be your pimp.....get your kit on and let's go up to Soho".
"Now you stand on this street corner and I'll hide in this doorway...if you need help just come and ask".
"OK." she says (nervous as hell but slightly excited)
A Jaguar draws up and down slides the window...."How much for full sex love?"
"Hold a minute" she says.... She hobbles round the corner in her red stilettos, basque and handbag.
"This man wants full sex" she whispers to her husband..."how much?"
"Tell him ??70." replies hubby. She hobbles back to the car...."??70 for full sex Mister."
"Good god I can't afford that!.. I've only got ??30 on me and I don't get paid 'til Friday....what will I get for ??30?"
"Hang on a mo." she says and hobbles back round the corner.
"He's only got ??30.. what can I do for that?"
"Oh...a blow job only then" says hubby "and make it quick."
She totters back..."a blow job only."
"Jeez" says Jaguar man..."still I'm desperate...let's get in the back seat"
They get in the back and she undoes his fly.......out pops the BIGGEST one she's ever seen...it's huge!
"Oooooh!" she exclaims...."hold on a minute" she says and gets out of the car...
She hobbles round the corner and says to her husband..."Couldn't you lend this man ??40 until Friday?"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by curtis
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