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| Posted by Maggie McAdams on 14-Aug-2005 | Camping TripTwo guys have been camping in the woods for over a week and are
beginning to get a little annoyed with each other. One says to
the other, "Today we should spend some time apart. You hike to
the north, I'll hike to the south and then we will meet back
here and discuss our hikes over a campfire."
The day turns to night and the two men meet at the campsite and
one says to the other, "So,how was your day?"
"Oh, it was fabulous. I hiked towards the south, down into the
valley and swam in this crystal blue stream and laid out in the
sun until I was dry. When I woke up I saw a deer drinking from
the stream and it was the most serene vision I have ever had.
How was your day?"
The other camper says, "Well, I hiked north and came upon these
railroad tracks. I followed them until I found this woman tied
to the tracks so I untied her and we had sex all day long, in
every position imaginable. It was the best sex I ever had and
when we just couldn't do it anymore, I hiked back here."
The other camper responds, "Wow! your day was much better than
mine! Did you get a blowjob too?"
"Nah, I couldn't find her head."
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8 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Pretty Sammi on 14-Aug-2005 | Fruits Of LoveA newlywed couple was spending their honeymoon in a remote log
cabin resort way up the mountains of Scotland. They had
registered on Saturday, and they had not been seen for five days.
An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting
concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds. The old man
decided to go and see if they were alright. He knocked on the
door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old
man asked if they were okay.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love," came the
reply.
The old man responded, "I thought so. Would you mind not
throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking my ducks!"
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by John R. Beard on 14-Aug-2005 | Please Stay SantaSanta came down the chimney one night and saw a pretty lady in a
teddy. She said, "Please stay Santa." Santa said, "Ho! Ho! Ho!
Gotta go, gotta go." Then turned around and started filling the
stockings.
When he turned around again, she had removed her top. She said,
"Please stay Santa." Santa said, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go, gotta
go." Then he turned around and started putting presents under
the tree.
Then he turned around again. The woman had removed her panties.
She said, "Please stay Santa." Santa said, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta
stay! Gotta stay! Can't get up the chimney with a woody!"
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7 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Jayne L. San Jose on 14-Aug-2005 | Camel TroubleA man in Egypt needs to cross the Sahara Desert. He goes to a
camel owner and asks to buy one of his camels. The owner says,
"Here's one fine camel, very fast and 3 drinks across desert,
$200." The man says, "No, that's out of my budget. do you have
any others?"
The owner goes through a few other camels, the man refusing each
one of them, until they come across one. The owner says, "Very
old and slow camel, no drink across desert, $20, but sometimes
he will need a little jerking off." The man buys the camel.
They are half way across the desert when the camel stops. The
man asks the camel, "Are you hungry?" The camel shakes its head.
"Thirsty?" The camel shakes it head. "Tired?" The camel shakes
its head. "All right then," and the man jacks off the camel.
This happens a few times, until they are almost across the
desert, and the camel stops.
"Are you hungry?" the man asks again. The camel shakes its head.
"Thirsty?" The camel shakes its head. "Tired?" The camel shakes
its head. "All right then," and the man jacks off the camel, but
nothing happens. "What do you want?!" The man asks annoyed. The
camel opened its mouth.
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by THe LeFT BLiNKeR on 14-Aug-2005 | ServingGrandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm, and when they
come to the corral they see to cows fucking. He explained,
"That's a bull and a cow, and he's serving her."
A little later on, they saw horses fucking. The Grandpa said,
"That's a stud and a mare, and he's serving her, too."
That night at supper, after everyone was seated and grace was
said, Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Will you please serve
the turkey?"
Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, "If he does, I'm eating a
hamburger!"
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Canice J. Leung on 14-Aug-2005 | Baby BearIt is the start of spring and baby bear emerges from his cave
looking a wreck. He's skin and bones; his body is shaking; his
legs can barely support him and his eyes have huge bags
underneath them.
Seeing him, mother bear asks: "What happened, baby bear? Didn't
you hibernate like I told you to?"
To which baby bear replies: "Hibernate?! Shit! I thought you
said masturbate!"
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5 people have rated this joke: |
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