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| Posted by CrazyBaby on 09-Aug-2005 | Chastity Belt Key!In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving for a crusade and called one of his squires, "I'm leaving for the crusade.
Here is the key to my wife's chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven't returned, you may use the key as I'm sure she will have needs"
The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe. He takes one last look at his castle and sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, "Stop! Stop!
Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the WRONG KEY."
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| Posted by Tiger Fly on 09-Aug-2005 | Golf or Sex?A friend and I were golfing one day when at the 18th hole this guy comes out of nowhere and asks if he could join us.
I tell him, "Well, we're just about done but if you want to join us tomorrow you can. We start at 8 o'clock."
He said, "Great! I'll be here at 8 o'clock, maybe 8:35..."
So next day he shows up at 8 o'clock and plays scratch golf; he was good. We were going to play again the next day and we invited him to join us.
He said, "Great! I'll be here at 8 o'clock, maybe 8:35..."
So the next day he shows up at 8 o'clock, plays with his opposite hand, and shoots under par!
I'm a bit amazed with this guy so I ask him, "You're a pretty good golfer, beating us with scratch golf and then showing-off by playing just as good with your opposite hand. Just what is you secret?"
He said, "Well...when I wake up in the morning and my wife is lying on her left side, I play left-handed.
Or when I wake up in the morning and my wife is laying on her right side, I play right-handed."
So I ask, "what if she is laying on her back?"
"That's when I get here at 8:35."
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| Posted by Mike J. Rees on 09-Aug-2005 | Great Trick For SexA husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asks, "What's that for?"
"It's for your headache", he replies
"But I don't have a headache", she states.
He replies, "Gotcha!"
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| Posted by Baby Doll on 09-Aug-2005 | That Question!The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby.
One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to whisper "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"
Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always ask the same old ridiculous questions."
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| Posted by Hyperchick on 09-Aug-2005 | Bug Up Her AssA man walked into a drugstore and asked the man at the counter if they sold condoms.
The proprietor asked the man what kind he wanted.
The man replied, "I want the kind with insecticide on them."
The proprietor responded, "Don't you mean the kind with spermicide?"
"NO!" shouted the man, "I mean INSECTICIDE".
The proprietor asked, "Why would you want a condom with insecticide"?"
The man replied, "My old lady has a bug up her ass, and I'm going after it!"
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| Posted by Erica Campbell on 09-Aug-2005 | DisappearanceA woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police.
The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him.
"Yes," she replied readily.
"Tell him Mother didn't come after all."
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