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| Posted by Raymond N. Kostowski on 12-Aug-2005 | Chemical Properties of WomanElement: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer: Adam
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal fluctuations.
Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.
Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.
Tests :
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.
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| Posted by Bruno B. Machado on 12-Aug-2005 | Diff Between Gender DreamsWomen dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating
hunger. What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
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| Posted by Melanie Mudd on 12-Aug-2005 | Will Rogers On MenHow could Will Rogers say, "I never met a man I didn't like"?
He never had to date one.
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| Posted by Yazzer on 12-Aug-2005 | LazyHow can you tell if a man you're dating is lazy?
He throws his kisses.
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| Posted by Bob John on 12-Aug-2005 | Sex On Second DateWhat do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
Slow.
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| Posted by RAVE KING on 12-Aug-2005 | Found At Gyms and BarsWhat can a woman find at both gyms and singles bars?
Dumbbells.
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