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| Posted by Aardvark on 09-Aug-2005 | ChicagoIn a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car.
The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!"
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"
Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago".
"Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating.
Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?!"
Bob says, "I'm gettin' it on with Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Patrick J. Beverly on 09-Aug-2005 | SpaghettiGary and Mary go on their honeymoon.
Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary's pussy.
The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant.
Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, "Waiter! Waiter! Come over here!"
The waiter says, "Can I help you, sir?"
Gary yells, "There's a hair in my spaghetti! Get it the fuck out of here!"
The waiter apologizes up and down as he quickly takes the spaghetti away.
Mary looks over at Gary, and shaking her head, she whispers, "What a hypocrite you are. You spent most of last night with your face full of hair."
Gary says, "Yeah? Well, how long do you think I'd have stayed if I found a piece of spaghetti in there!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Embee on 09-Aug-2005 | DoughnutsA little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger.
The huge guy behind the counter bellows "One burger!"
Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.
The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen."
The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Gary E. Suter on 09-Aug-2005 | Change a light bulbHow many male chauvinistic pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
None, let the bitch do it by herself.
OR
None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by frank a. magallanes on 09-Aug-2005 | MoustachesWhy do gay men have moustaches?
To hide the stretchmarks.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by madcat cw on 09-Aug-2005 | Say 55A guy went to the doctor because he was concerned about his sexuality.
Patient: "Doctor, I'm worried, I think I may be gay."
Doctor: "Well, take off your pants and we'll run a couple of tests."
The man does so and the doctor grabs his penis.
Doctor: "Say '55.'"
Patient: "55."
The doctor then grabs his balls.
Doctor: "Say '55.'"
Patient: "55."
Doctor: Now, turn around and bend over.
The patient does so, and the doctor sticks his finger up his ass.
Doctor: "Say '55.'"
Patient: "1.....2......3....."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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