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():sex jokes (1888): Choosing the right condom |
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| Posted by calahsman on 14-Aug-2005 | Choosing the right condomAt a mad night out a man and woman decided that they were going
2to make love for the first time. As the man was so excited he
ran out to the nearest pub to buy a condom. When he got there he
went to the machine, there was a flavoured condom for $1, a
colored condom for $2 and a metal condom for $3.
As the man only had $2 on him he bought a colouerd condom and
took it back to his girlfriend. The couple made love but the
condom split and he woman became pregnant.
Well after nine months the woman gave birth but to 2 blue baby
boy. The couple were very happy about this although it was a bit
strange. Well, the little boy grew up and one day the little boy
went up to his dad and said "dad why am i blue, i get bullied
for being different" and his dad turned around and said " you
better shut up. For $1 extra you could of been Robo Cop!"
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| Posted by Austin Garrison on 13-Aug-2005 | Too much boozeEverynight I have been drinking lately, I have wound up drinking so much I end up blowing chunks....I need to lock that poor dog up before I start drinking next time!
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| Posted by keri kirkles on 13-Aug-2005 | Fuck me babyfuck me baby girl.
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| Posted by leanna on 14-Aug-2005 | All the wayYesterday, i went all the way, not with my girl friend but with
a girl that i never meet. She was very nice, very cute but a
very nasty person. She told me that the only way we would have
sex is that if i meet her parents. So i agreed... we went to her
dads house. It was ok but not the best after we got back form
her dads house, we did it so that is how we had sex. haha
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| Posted by kittilov on 14-Aug-2005 | The ChoiceThere was a newlywed couple, but they didn't get to have their
honeymoon. So one day, the wife asked her husband if they could
have a honeymoon that weekend. The husband said that he
couldn't because he had a fox hunt to go to that weekend. This
made the wife sad, so the husband gave her three choices to
choose from. 1. go with him on the fox hunt, 2. give him a blow
job, or 3. he gets to do her in the ass. So she thought about
it, and on the morning of the fox hunt, the husband asked her if
she made a choice. She replied no, so the the husband told her
to have a choice when he came back from getting the dogs ready
for the hunt. She said ok. He came back and asked for her
choice. She choose #2. She got in the position, and started to
smell something funny. She asked what that smell was. The
husband replied, "oh, the dogs didn't want to go, they choose
#3!"
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| Posted by Nate M. F on 14-Aug-2005 | Not worth the MoneyThere once was a thirty-five year old man named Kevin. He
decided that he was fed up with his work so he quit and traveled
around the world. After a month he ended up in a small town in
the middle of nowhere. There he discovered he was almost out of
money and all his credit cards were maxed out. With nowhere to
go and nothing to do, Kevin ended up wandering around the town.
He walked by a loud bar with men inside hollering and hooting,
just like any other bar in town. Kevin was about to continue
when he noticed a large container filled with money on the
counter. Curious, he wandered in and made his way up to the
bartender.
"Excuse me sir, I was just passing by and I noticed that large
container of money. May I ask what it's for?" Kevin asked.
"Well, there's a rottwieller out back who needs a tooth pulled,
then an old lady upstairs who needs an orgasm. If you help them
out, you get the money." Kevin decided that even though he was
almost totally broke, it wasn't worth the money, so he left.
A few hours later he returns to the bar, VERY drunk after
spending all of his remaining money on beer. He approaches the
bartender and asks if the money offer was still up. The
bartender says yes and shows him where the rottwieller is then
quickly goes back inside to get out of reach of the angry dog.
For almost an hour the bartender can hear growls and yells and
whimpers and barks. Finally Kevin comes back in with his clothes
all ripped and torn, and his face all covered in blood and mud.
"Alright." Kevin says. "Now where's the old lady who needs her
tooth pulled."
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